Soldier Deaths

We're watching the Tekes Yom Ha'zikaron - the ceremony for Memorial Day for soldiers and civilians killed - and Gabe asks, 'How many soldiers fall in the line of duty?' A squirmy moment for the mother of 16 year old - they both know he'll get his 'tzav giyus'/command to report next year around his 17th birthday.

We discuss that in Israel's 61 year history, their losses are about 10% of the population, comparable numbers in the US would mean 1 million losses within country. We analyze the old adage of more Israelis die in car accidents than in wars. That the numbers can even reflect someone killed in a car accident during his army service will be put on the lists. Is that the same as a combat death? This is all true but it's not exactly comforting to parents.

Gabe often worries that he's fit, strong, not scholastically inclined (meaning, Modi'in/Intelligence won't necessarily run after him) and that he's clearly headed towards a combat role when his time in the army come. I reasoned that his cousin Adam, who is a paratrooper, ended up taking a course to train other soldiers and by this means, wasn't involved in the recent combat in Gaza. That there are ways to avoid direct combat and still be in a combat unit. Truth is, I don't know enough about it anyway to really assure him of anything and as we see with Natan, the army here is a big machine and your kid is of course, one of many.

Look at Gilad Schalit? What are parents supposed to think about that one? We're just supposed to send our kids off and hope for the best. יהיה בסדר - It will be okay. It probably will be okay but every so often, it just isn't.

May their memories all be a blessing.

Soldier Boy

He's happy, our soldier man-boy. He goes off to the base, comes home in general one night of the week and is generally around, eating us out of house and home on weekends. He says he has learned how to sleep anywhere (not that sleep was every really a problem) and tells me he can get in a bout 1.5 hours on the bus without a problem. (Natan describes his trip sort of like Uncle Charlie's trip to NYC from Merrick years ago. 3 buses - one in the bus, one to J'lem and one to our house. Charlie had a similiar sort of travel but he used to add the elevator in his building which was frustratingly slow and annoying.)

He advises newbies - a whole bunch of his local harem (he doesn't think of them quite this way but they tend to arrive en masse to pick him up on Shabbat afternoons) just went in during Pesach vacation and he spoke to a few, fielded a couple of phone calls and generally sounded the voice of calm experience. I mentioned to him how scared he was back in October and he said, 'Oh, I wasn't that scared really.' I said, 'You've forgotten.' He admitted this may be true.

Even I am an old hand. I saw a friend who's 2 girls went in recently (she has triplets) and she told me that the girls seemed okay but that she was a wreck. I inquired how long the basic training is for them - '3 weeks,' she said. I told her it will go by so fast they'll barely have time to register it. And thank goodness for it. Basic training isn't easy - emotionally, mostly - and it's good to on to a course, or a job or whatever.

Someone else asked Natan recently what his job is. When he told them that he's doing office work and some teaching English, the person said, 'Oh, what a shame.' I felt like throttling them. Could Natan have done some fancier job in intelligence or with computers or who knows what? Yea, maybe, had he gotten someone to help get him there when he was in the application process. But he's doing, he's serving and he's learning Hebrew, meeting different kinds of people and it's a good thing. There is nothing bad about it. At all.

He's upstairs tonight. Came home tonight because he offered to be in the office on Tuesday morning, Remembrance Day for soldiers killed in wars. He could have gone with Gabe to school, or shown up at Akiva's ceremony in his school and been Akiva's show and tell, or he could have shown up at another ceremony - soldiers are welcome everywhere on that day. Natan felt uncomfortable. He said to me, 'I'm not a combat soldier, I don't have the history that everyone else has....it's important to me but I'm okay being in the office.' I told him that I understood but that he should be proud of doing service to his country - to any country, to any cause. It's a good thing to be a service minded individual and that he's an important symbol to many here because of that. It's a big army - not everyone is a fighter. It takes admin and logistics and many other 'jobniks' to keep the army moving. Nothing to be ashamed of - nothing.

Holocaust Day

A note that here, Holocaust Day is called - יום הזיכרון לשואה ולגבורה - Remembrance Day for the Holocaust and the Brave/Courageous/Mighty...you get the picture. It sounds better to me and it does make you think about all the Jews who didn't just walk their way into the gas chambers - who walks into the gas chambers really?
At the memorial ceremony held at Yad Vashem on Monday evening, 6 torches were lit but survivors. This year, the them was children who survived and their stories were, as always to us post-Holocaust generations, nothing short of unbelievable. The twins, who withstood Mengele's experiements - the pain, the agony - and who survived, along with their parents and made Aliyah as a family after the war. The Greek boy, now and older man living in Holon, who used every ounce or savvy to save himself and many others during the war. The children who were forced to live on their own at young, young ages - at Shabbat lunch this past week, our hostess, Yael, (wife of cousin Marc Rosenberg) told of a story of 2 children, ages 5 and 7, who survived by virtue of their preternatural adult-like skills. She looked across the room at her 4 year old son, busily playing with toys - a very, young boy indeed - and said she couldn't imagine her Aryeh on his own, fending for himself.
The day had its own drama with Durban II and the 'he who shall not be named' speaker. Israelis were up in arms about the speech - what was said and what wasn't said.
In Gemara class on Tuesday morning we studied B'rachot and it felt good to study - something pleasurable and important as Jews that was denied during many times of Jewish history to Jews. We studied, discussed and enjoyed - our own little bit of fighting back on a day of remembering not just destruction but acts of rebellion, battle and standing up for Jewish rights.

Oseh Ma'aseh B'reishit - Being Thankful for Creation

I don't remember Birkat Hachamah the last time - the Blessing of the Sun, from 1981. A big of google work and I found that the date was April 11th, 1981. I sniffed around and was reminded that the Aids epidemic was felt to have begun in 1981, that Ronald Reagan and Pope John Paul were both shot and recovered and if you look on Wikipedia, you'll see an exhaustive listing of births (the Bush twins) and deaths (Hoagy Charmichael and Bobby Sands). Stuff happened.

Just to give you some background - From an article in the NYTimes: 'The calculation goes like this: God created the sun, the moon and the stars on Wednesday, the fourth day. A solar year is about 365 1/4 days, or about 52 weeks and 1 1/4 days. So each year since creation, the sun rises 1 1/4 days, or 30 hours, later. It takes 28 years for the sun to again hit the same position in the firmament at the same moment on the same day of the week.

Of course, it is not that simple. The astronomical computations, as well as the proper course of action in case the sun is obscured, are “subjects of great discussion, debate and analysis...Though the sun was created during the vernal equinox, a solar year is not precisely 365 1/4 days, but a few minutes less. Over many millennia, the time difference puts the solar calendar out of sync with the lunar Hebrew calendar; the actual vernal equinox occurred on March 20.'

Here's another good bit from an article from the Shalom Center:
'Why today? Because alongside the view that the Creation of the World occurred in Elul and Tishri, at Rosh Hashanah time, the Talmud preserves another view: that the Creation occurred in Nisan, the first of the months, in spring.

Evidently to the rabbis it felt particularly apppropriate that the birthday of the sun should be at the spring equinox, when the sun emerges from the womb of winter and crosses the Equator coming northward. The Torah teaches that the sun was created at the beginning of the fourth day -- Tuesday evening, to use our present labels. So the moment when the sun is again where it was at the beginning comes in a year when the equinox as the rabbis defined it comes on Tuesday evening in Nisan.

Then why are we celebrating today the eighth of April? Surely it is not the equinox! The rabbis' calculation of the length of the year was a few minutes off and in 2, 000 years that has added up to a few weeks.

And why only every twenty eight years? By assigning Tuesday evening as the moment, the rabbis made the moment hard to come by. For the year does not divide into four equal seasons of full days. There is a day and a¬quarter left over. So if the equinox comes on a Tuesday evening this year, it will come next year a day and a quarter later. It will take four years for it to come 'round to the evening again and then it will be five days away from Tuesday. Only after seven times four years will the moment come back to a Tuesday evening.

By working out this cycle of twenty eight years, the rabbis accomplished something else: by celebrating the sun only once a generation, they gave us a way to look ahead and look back that is worthy of the sun.'

I woke the big boys up early and we headed out to the Tayelet - the Promenade overlooking the Old City - with everyone else, yawning and wrapped up in our sweaters against the early morning air of 6AM. I had decided to meet up at the end of the Tayelet, past the usual stopping points, and join in the celebrations being hosted by the Navah Tehilah community known for their hippy, dippy, multi-faith approach. They didn't dissapoint. Drums, guitars, chanting and song - it seemed just the right thing for the morning. The sun rose in the distance, the Judean Desert shimmering in the early morning light, the morning sun beginning to strengthen and warm us up. We all stood and wondered where we'd be in another 28 years. I put on my sunglasses against the always strong glare of the sun in this part of the world. We could hear the chanting of thousands of people at the Kotel. Wild. Completely hokey but so appropriate in this part of the world where mythology has a habit of coming alive on a regular basis.

We picked up Ira and Akiva and shared some pre-Pesach bagel and coffee. The morning light felt especially good on us.

Moadim L'Simchah.

Pesach

It's getting done - the cleaning, the dusting, the organizing, the whatever. Of course, one doesn't have to empty out every drawer and clean every closet, just the ones in food-related areas but it's hard to avoid that desire to just clean the whole house top to bottom.

We've been working in sections and bits and pieces. Natan came home a couple of nights last week to pitch in and Gabe's been making his way through various kitchen cabinets in between football and whatever. The menu is set, the tasks given out. Seder 09 is on it's way.

It's our first year for hosting since we've moved which is fun to consider. I for one, feel ready to return to a job that Ira and I did happily (most of the time) for most of our years in Bklyn. Once my parents made Aliyah in 1992, we were in Bklyn. One or 2 years in Merrick at Ira's brother but they mostly came to us along with Joanne's parents, usually on 1st night, and when Ralph and Lisa were in town we Seder'ed with them many times and also with Ron and Marion and Miriam Wasserman, Iris and Steve, etc, etc, etc. Sorry for the trip down memories of Seder's past.

I should add here that the reason we're extra relaxed this year is due to the debut of the new Ira. Some of you may remember the Old, New Ira - way back with George W Bush's first term. I think there was something said about the Kinder, Gentler America (I don't remember, it's soooo long ago and I like to forget that period of American History). Ira decided that he'd be the Kinder, Gentler Ira. No more sarcastic retorts, no more nasty NY humor - Ira went all nice on all of us. This lasted for a time and then was replaced by the regular Ira we all know and love.

Now we have the Zen Ira. Zen Ira goes to the shuk and is unperturbed by marauding shoppers. Zen Ira gets ready for Pesach in a laid back mode - hey, it'll all get done. Zen Ira is off playing baseball and singing in Oklahoma! rehearsals Erev hag. What me worry?

I'll keep you posted. Later note: A few days later and Zen Ira is rubbing off positively on everyone, including myself. Best moment was calling Ira yesterday from camp (we were closing up, organizing and putting things away and I was running very late and Akiva was unattended by his babysitter who had canceled and Ira was working) and instead of kvetching that he needed me at home (which he had every right to do), he Ohmmed....on the phone. Hilarious. I think this is all the Eastern influence of our favorite books of the moment - John Burdett's tales of the adventures of a Buddhist detective in Krung Thep, or for you Farang, Bangkok. He assures me he's not about to take up Yoga and wishes that people would stop recommending it (a flash of the Ira we know and love) but that so far this is working for him. He did have a weak moment today, Erev Hag, when the phone was ringing fast and furious between Jess, myself, Daniel, Natan and Ira - he snapped a bit at Daniel but it was brief.

Shopping in the shuk is mostly done. Bought some fun things this time - freshly ground rice flour (first you check the rice and then they grind it for you), also, freshly ground almond flour. A lovely assortment of coconut based and chocolate dipped macaroons. Spices of all sorts. Nuts and dried fruits. It's just so easy in this country at Pesach time, especially if you eat kitniyot/legumes, which we do, even Zen Ira has come over to the Dark Side.

And we have our new Guide to the Perplexed, www.kashrut.org, the work of Rabbi Abadi formerly of Lakewood, NJ, which seems like enough of a 'hechsher' for us. Take a look at his extremely and seemingly lenient take on much of the cleaning and craziness of Pesach. Hey, we can all learn new tricks and still have ourselves plenty of work to do - but maybe, just maybe be a bit less tired.

A Happy and Kosher Pesach to all.

The News

We don't need to agree that the news stinks. It is rather fascinating to observe the difference in headlines. The Herald Tribune and Ha'aretz always differ in their approach to the news of the day, with the IHT usually referring to Hamas fighters as militants and Ha'aretz referring to them as terrorists. As for the Post, they take an even harder line as most of their op-eds and opinion pieces are overwhelmingly conservative. This is nothing new just extra interesting these days.

Best article read this week? This one, by Gideon Litchfield - describing exactly how I felt when the IDF hit the school in Gaza the other day, of course eerily reminiscent of the accidental hit in Kana in Southern Lebanon in 06. I also liked this excellent article by Natan Sharansky earlier this week in the Wall Street Journal but it doesn't admit to the overall problem of there's no winning in what we're doing down in Gaza.

There is no winning, you know. I don't want my neighbors in the South to live under the threat of fire. Our friend, Melina's parents live in Ashdod and needless to say it's been a scary time. They're Argentinean and have been here since 2001 or so. They live in a high-rise building and can't get to the shelter in time when the siren rings. The 'shelter' in the stairway and hope for the best. Melina tried to encourage them to come up to J'lem but they demurred saying they're okay, and they have things to do and they won't be run out of town. My friend Karyn's daughter Ayelet, who's trained as a Red Cross Technician spent a few days down in Ashkelon riding the ambulence and giving a break to overwhelmed workers in that area. Karyn just requested that she call in every few hours and her know that all was okay.

No way to live, right? But what about living under a blockade in the most densely populated place on earth with nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, nowhere to find shelter and very little in the way of fresh food, water, etc availble to you. It's tiresome to hear people say, 'well they voted in Hamas, what did they expect?' Who knows? I remain convinced that there are regular types of people who just want to live, buy their eggs, make a cake, have coffee in a cafe, go to work, send their kids out without worrying for their lives - all the things that I do. Again, I can't say why they don't think through what their lives have been about, how little their gov't has done for them, how their vaunted leadership puts them in the line of fire time after time. This is the part that is always strange and confusing to us here in Israel who assume that someone living in Gaza doesn't want what they've been forced into.

My breads are baked - oat/whole wheat sourdough and a whole wheat/rye foccacia. I will bring Shabbat in with Jess, Daniel and the babies as well as Mona and the kids. My children will be reasonably scrubbed and cleaned up, Natan will be in civilian clothes and I will hope for peace in the coming week. For myself and for my neighbors.

Separate Really?

Today, Jess and I went to the big mall with the babies. I stood outside Golf kids - the stroller wouldn't fit inside - while Jess took care of an exchange. A family entered the store - Mom, Dad, 2 little boys immaculately dressed in cargo pants and sweaters, baby in snowsuit held in Dad's arms. Picture perfect, right? Arab family, as it just so happens. Lots of Arab families at the mall always.

Last week, I went on a 2-day trip with visiting cousins, Karen and Barbara (my Aunt Nora's 2 eldest). We spent a lovely early evening at Hamat Gader, the natural hot springs Southeast of Tiberias. The water was steamy, the evening air crisp and the pools were filled with people of all ages and all nationalities - yes, there were Arabs there too.

Stop in at any hospital locally, and watch how Jews and Arabs mix. Nurses, doctors, support staff, families, patients - hospitals are an unusual oasis of 'getting along.'

Ramat Rachel, where I work out is a stone's throw from Tzur Bacher. Many Arab families join and use the pool and workout room. When the bombing first started last Saturday, I stopped to watch the news on my way out Saturday night. I stood with a few of the Arab workers at the pool and we all watched the news and the headlines regarding the rising death count. As I left the pool, the Muezzin was screaming - or so it seemed to me - and it didn't sound like prayers, it sounded much stronger. Turns out it was the sounds of demonstrations in the street.

It's such a small country here. Borders so close to each other. Not enough room to breathe and find a way to living together. And yet, on Thursday, when I stopped in both Acco to walk around the Old City (in the hopes of some good humus as well) and when we finally ate our humus in the Druze town of Kfar Yasif (which felt quite Arab to me), I wondered at our ability to 'live' together and yet not be able to make peace together.

Bread is the staff of life

Life is like a loaf of bread. Various ingredients - some development, maturation, even fermentation and then on a good day...an aromatic crusty loaf of bread. We have a new breadmaker and suddenly I've discovered the joys of making bread. I hear some of the purists groan. Yes, it is not hard to bake bread. Yes, I could do it all by hand. But that is not the point. What is nice about the breadmaker is that one dumps in their ingredients and pushes a few buttons and a few hours later, you have bread. Truth is, I often use the dough cycle which means that about 90 minutes later, one removes said proofed and partly risen dough, give it a quick punch and fold, set it up in a nice loaf pan for a short rise and then bake it conventionally for a much nicer crust and shape. As well, now that I've been using Iris Katzner's famous sourdough starter - specially imported in for me - I let the dough have a loooong and slow rise, sometimes overnight and then bake it for a richly flavored, sour and crusty loaf. So, that's not so terrible really.

But you all know me well. Would I, Beth Steinberg be happy with just bread? Of course not. I am only happy with experimentation, fiddling, replacing ingredients, introducing new and different ingredients. You get the picture. In short, the breadmaker has just enabled the experience and made it more fun and demystified the process just a bit. And for Gabe and Natan and Ira, it's quite pleasurable to just dump in the ingredients and make bread. I asked my friend Miriam for her basic bread recipe and was shocked to discover that she uses the same recipe over and over and just adds in different flavoring agents - herbs and whatnot. Don't get me wrong, she makes good bread, I just couldn't wrap my head around one recipe. Then again, that's the secret of bread of course, simple ingredients, a few hours and magic, a loaf of bread.

Back to my original point though. Breadmaking is life distilled through the simple veil of flour, water and salt. You don't even need the yeast as you can make a naturally risen bread from those ingredients. Things like oil, eggs, sweetener, herbs and other fun addins are beside the point and quite unecessary, perhaps even muck up what makes bread perfect.

I figure that Gabe and Natan are midway through their fermentation and Akiva hasn't quite finished with his 'sponge' stage. As for Ira and I, we're well into the 'sourdough' moment, which hopefully will continue to bubble along quite nicely.

Natan and the IDF

I don't even need to report on Natan as he's begun to do his own reporting. Check out his blog at natanidf.blogspot.com. As would be expected, he's long-winded like his mother, dryly acerbic like his father (nobody can be as sarcastic and nasty as Ira) and anally attentive to detail which is a particular quirk of Natan's.

He looks to have been taken into a unit with the interest in using him for his English skills. This would be a smart move but remains to be seen if the army will act smartly. We've been warmed by the range of interviews they've sent him on and the sense that they've gotten that they should use him for more than stamping papers but we just don't know yet and there's a definite sense that he's gotten from his various interviews that if his Hebrew was just a bit stronger it would all be easier. This is not a surprise of course and Natan had been fairly unwilling to work on his Hebrew the past year for sure so maybe now he'll see the worth in improving not just his spoken but his written and reading skills.

It's bizarre to see him trot off in green the past 2 weeks. Each morning he gets up when he should, gets himself ready and leaves for whatever the day's adventure holds - mostly waiting, waiting and waiting. He comes home in a fairly good mood, although understandably bored and cranky at times. But he changes into civilian garb, has a good meal, yakks on the phone, writes notes on the computer, goes out if he can to Yoeman rehearsal, and seems fairly well-adjusted despite the uncertainty. Who would have thunk it?

I've told him for some time that I thought that the army would help him define his place here in Israel. I continue to think that's true although he could still end up in the US for school and work - I would almost anticipate that happening but then again, who knows? School is a lot cheaper here and much of the textbook work is in English so many Anglos do manage school here. But we don't have to worry about that for some time, no?

After Mumbai, Natan and I discussed the whole futility of man, the world, violence against each other, etc. I wondered how I can continue to feel like a pacifist when I know that most people feel that armies and fighting are worthwhile and important. All I know is when I read the newspaper - yes, when I read Gideon Levy in Ha'aretz - whether or not the story is stretched or troubled or problematic, every time I read about some soldier who did the 'wrong thing' or the non-ethical thing, or the thing that we know that they shouldn't do, I'm reminded that they're most likely some 18-20 year old guy who's not enjoying himself and is likely to feel scared and inclined to shoot first and ask questions later. Is that what we want to teach our kids to do? I'm deeply relieved that it's not Natan out there by Hebron, or in Gaza but that doesn't change the fact that some other kid is there doing that work that I'm glad he's not doing. I'm rambling here but you get the existential picture.

Mumbai reverberation

Last week, Melina, Akiva's wonderful sitter/friend as well as Shutaf's educational supervisor came in the house without her usual sunny expression. Melina is always happy - she has the sunniest disposition and really understands how to spread that feeling to people around her. It doesn't hurt that she's just lovely to look at as well and has that joie de vivre/warm blooded nature of someone who grew up in a sunny climate ( Buenos Aires - despite economic collapse and anti-semitism).

This was right after the Mumbai event - I'm thinking of the Hebrew word used for event, אירוע, which is used for anything from an evening wedding to a bombing. Sort of strange, no? We all were feeling somewhat blindsided by what had happened, even though I often feel that I'm inured to bombings in that part of the world - I feel pained but not surprised when I read of them in the newspaper. Melina told me that where she works - a home/school for kids with significant disabilities, many whom will not survive childhood - housed the Holtzberg children, sons of Rivki and Rabbi Gabi, killed in the Chabad house last week. Their older son, died of Taysachs a couple of years ago and they have another child who's at the end of his life, also Taysachs, and now there's little Moishe, not to mention that Rivki was 6 mos pregnant when she was murdered. Melina said she had met both of them - they usually traveled in on their own to visit their son and she'd played with Moishe on a recent visit with his mother to the school. Melina said that both parents were lovely - young, of course, 'younger than me,' Melina mused, and that the school staff enjoyed spoiling Moishe on his visits - he was of course, healthy and both parents must have enjoyed that in ways that none of us can imagine.

And now, they're dead. It's just so depressing and sad. And as always in this small country, as Yehuda Amichai put it best of all, the 'diameter of the bomb' is very small, unexpectedly close, unbearably so.

Mumbai

Just read this on Janglo - local listserv that sells, tells and connects Eng speaking locals. Sort of gives you an eye in to the thoughts of those 'tzivos hashem' or messengers of g-d as the Rebbe liked to call his followers. I know that I read in the paper that the post held by the young couple murdered a few days ago, has already been filled by another Chabadnik shaliach. I like this Rabbi's message who reminds us to honor the memory of the Holzberg's with an act of kindness as they were known for in Mumbai to the Jewish travelers, old and young, together and messed up, who ended up at their center and knew they'd be helped - without question, without judgement. Gotta admire that kind of teaching.
May their memories be a blessing.

Posted by: "rabbi@jerusalemchabad.com" rabbi@jerusalemchabad.com

Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:11 pm (PST)

Dear Friends,

We once again find ourselves facing a terrible tragedy.

Our hearts go out to the families of all those people, created in G-d's image, who were murdered and wounded by those who have rejected all semblance of humanity and descended far below the level of the most vicious beast.

Within our own extended Chabad family, after three days of dread and tension, waiting for news, we learned of the fate of the many hostages killed in the Chabad House in Mumbai, India.

The young couple Rabbi Gavriel and Rivka Holtzberg o.b.m. travelled far from their parents’ homes in Israel and Crown Heights. They journeyed to Mumbai not for themselves, but for the sake of others. They came to create a home and center of Jewish life for those Jews who live in, or travel to this corner of the world.

Running a Chabad House anywhere is a difficult task for any young rabbi and wife, but especially so in a place like India, far from every Jewish community. It is difficult to find kosher food, basic necessities of Jewish life, essentials that a young Chassidic couple needs. Nevertheless, they went to India, and managed to build a center and a community for Jewish life there.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe's words, relentlessly positive vision, and his personal example of leadership expressed in a selfless 24/7 dedication to the needs of the Jewish people's and the needs of many beyond the Jewish community - is what inspired these young people and gave them the strength to undertake the demanding task they devoted their lives to.

When events like this happen, we have no way of understanding G-d's thinking or plan. One thing we do need to learn from this is to fight evil, darkness and hatred with good, light and love

On this forum, there are good friends of mine from many backgrounds. To all whom I know: please do an extra act of goodness and kindness to help replace the myriad acts of good and that the Holtzbergs would have done had their lives not been cut so short.

To my fellow Jews on this forum, let us please strengthen our observance of the three pillars of Judaism - Torah, prayer and acts of kindness such as charity.

Suggestions: Each Friday before sundown, all women and girls should make an effort to light Shabbat candles. The power of those candles will light up our lives and hopes and our future.

Men should make an effort to accept the mitzvah of Tefillin. The Talmud teaches us that one of the special qualities of Tefillin is that it creates an awe of us in our enemies by demonstrating that G-d's power rests upon us.

At a time like this, we should also make sure that we have kosher mezuzot on all our doors, both at home and in our workplace. To have your mezuzot checked or to purchase new mezuzot you can be in contact with me.

When G-d sees the Jewish people and indeed - all decent, caring human beings, of all backgrounds translating this tragedy into an increase in spirituality, holiness and observance, we pray He will grant us protection, health, happiness and the era of ultimate redemption, when in the holy words of the Prophets Isaiah and Micah: "Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, nor shall they learn war any more".

May we only share good news from now on.

Shavuah tov,

Rabbi Aaron Hurwitz
052 564 6633

PS In the news I heard just after Shabbos from Mumbai, it appears that the levayas will take place Monday. I will post info as I get it.

Notes from the Front

Natan has been inducted into the IDF. Actually, he's in basic training, I'm not sure the induction is official until after they've mustered him into shape for a few weeks.

Day One - Oct 22nd. We deliver Natan to Givat Hatachmoshet/Ammunition Hill in French Hill. After checking in and shouldering heavy backpack laden with all sorts of things from freshly baked cookies from local female friend to toiletries and stuff that seems critical to sustain life (i.e. copy of Anne of Avonlea, retainer - thank you Joy Hudecz, notebook to note experiences), we're told that Natan is missing some of his 'mismachim rifu'im'/doctor related papers. We know this because the holidays made it hard to get this kind of stuff done. Nobody was around, nobody was covering. Do not get sick during the holidays if at all possible.

We take Natan to the Induction Office in J'lem. He waits inside while we wait outside wondering what's next. He sees the Head Doctor. She shuffles through his papers, musing over his most recent asthma test which wasn't as great as the one's previously. She doesn't know what to do and the doctor who saw him (this was the 3rd doctor but who's counting) is away until the end of the month. She comments that it's not his fault that nobody's been around and after a few more head-scratching moments, says, 'okay, we'll lower the profile.' It's been a long haul of trying to work this all out and have Natan be at the 64 level based on vision and asthma issues. Now, he's a 'jobnik' with no 'kravi'/combat status. More jobs that might be of interest to him and that would offer better ways for the army to use Natan (in my opinion) are now open to him. Question is, can he get to them this late in the game? Don't know. May not know until after basic training. One huge step for us though.

Texts from Natan
1. Processing...bounced around some offices. Waiting to hear what I have to do. Told them that doctor is away, etc. Seems like I'm seeing head doctor, where are you?

We hug him again and leave him there for the next part of his journey, the trip to Tel Ha'shomer and 'Bakum'/בסיס קליטה ומיון. Natan later reported that he was escorted by an army guy, along with some other strays such as himself to Bakum and I'll leave him to one day tell the story of his walk through the various stations - you stop here, go there, get x-rayed here, sized up there. Arlo Guthrie puts it best...'you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected.'

Some text messages from the day:
1. Moving through. At vaccinations. (Yes, yes, they shot him up. Let's not talk about it).
2. Ok, so I think I have 3 weeks in some course for olim and THEN basic training. I'll be in touch, phone off. (This order ended up being changed by the next 'קצין מיון'/Interview Officer that Natan saw who decided that his Hebrew was fine enough for him to go straight on to basic training.)
3. Done being processed. Wearing uniform. Waiting for something. I think a bus to a base. (In the end, he came home that night - the 2 lower indoor pics of him - and went back and finished processing on Thursday, came home again and hung around the house through Shabbat and went officially back in on Sunday.)
From Thursday, Day #2 at Bakum.
1. Been waiting all day, ugh.
2. Waiting for bus.
3. Still waiting for **** bus. (The life of a soldier.)

Sunday AM, he hauled himself out of bed early and nervously left the house. He met up with this nice Argentinean guy whom he had met the previous week at Bakum and they traveled together back to Bakum. Natan would otherwise still be lost looking for where he's going. He joined a group of guys at Bakum - 'פלוגת ממתינים,' translation, 'waiting group' and waited for some hourse (we're told this is normal for Bakum) until being put on a bus to his new base, Nitzanim, down near Ashkelon, right near the beach - one of our favorites, site of a lovely campfire and potato roast that Akiva still speaks of fondly, last fall.

Text Message.
1. Yes, but I won't need it. (In response to Ira's query if he had $. You ride for free in green in these parts.)
2. Haven't gone anywhere yet. Waiting.
3. Done waiting. On bus to Nitzanim. Phone off. Love you.

We continued to hear from him in bits and pieces over the week when he had a minute and permission to use the phone. He was kvetchy at the beginning of the week - the weather had turned cold and rainy and life in the tent was somewhat damp, to say the least. Natan is not in the 'asthmatics tent' as he said that it's too close to the smoking area and that wouldn't be fun. He does have a 'פטור/exemption from certain physical activities. He can be made to run around stupidly but not too quickly. They all stand very long periods of time in various formations, the favorite being in the shape of the letter 'ח'/U shape. He received his gun - no, Robert Henoch told us it's not a gun, it's a weapon or an M16. Regardless, it's just too big and too much 'gun' for me. He's had some firing practice which remarkably he's been good at. Thank you to Iris and Steve and target practice up in the country.

We find out he's not coming home for his first Shabbat. A blow. Friday at 10:40AM, he calls. He's allowed visitors today. Not sure when. He thinks in the afternoon. 'Natan,' we say gently, 'Shabbat starts in the afteroon.' He'll find out. He calls back and tells us that he's allowed visitors on Friday because we can't come on Shabbat - never mind the 1.25 hours it takes to drive back and forth and making Shabbat. The army isn't so mindful of these matters. Then it turns out he has guard duty from 12-2pm. That means about 30 minutes with him after 2. We run out and do our errands in record time. Buy food for the soldier - bagels (we are Americans after all, can't just buy bourekas), spreads, fruit, cookies (no time to home bake something). Cancel my Friday night Kabbalat Shabbat davening gig at Shira Hadasha. Leave Gabe in charge of Friday afternoon prep, Akiva and setting up shul (his week to do so). Drive to Ashkelon with Ira. A lovely drive starting with the West Bank Tunnels and out through Beitar Ilit but then back through the roadblock and past Tzur Hadassah and down through the Lachish valley, past the Beit Guvrin Caves and further, heading towards Kiryat Gat. We call Michael and get the most up-to-date directions - the fastest and most direct method. We cross over various roads and eventually approach the beach, passing a new community for evacuees from Gush Katif communities in 2007 - many still living in temporary communities. We find the base and park. Inquire how to enter - we can't. Must wait for our guy to come and get us. Our guy doesn't answer his phone. We wait in the shockingly delightful non-Jerusalem heat. We drink our water, chew our fingernails and read The New Yorker. Finally, he calls. He was delayed. We're escorted in to the 'פינת ביקור'/visiting area. We wait. Suddenly, we see him trotting towards us. Huzzah!
We hug - ah....sit and eat, laugh, take a few pics (the images outside) as he regales us with stories and tells us what the yells that we hear in the background are essentially all variations on Yessir/כן, המפקד!

Much like visiting someone in camp, within a short amount of time the visitee is done - ready to return to their life on the inside and you the outsider go wistfully away. In our case, we rushed home at a breakneak pace, making it home...barely.

As for observance in the army. It's a good thing. Allowed 45 min davening time in the AM, which all say is good for charging your phone in the shul building - no plugs in tent - and dozing off during ישתבח. Then there's the moments you get pulled into מנחה - Natan said everyone was a higher rank than he.

Natan's report on Shabbat.
5. Shabbat was nice. Going up north tomorrow. Will be in touch. (Gosh, we think, a trip. You always see recruits out and about, especially on Sundays which appears to be travel day. A little treat after being on the base during the weekend, Benjy tell us. Also, they do try to make Shabbat restful, with more pleasant meals, time for shul and a bit of rest time in between guard duties. No standing in formation.)
6. So, after being a guy who couldn't move his legs, I'm not lying on a stretcher in the middle of a hospital tent. Some targil/exercise up here. (Turns out Natan is part of a huge military exercise and being the raw newbie that he is, as well as being a good size, he's immediately useful as faux injured person. He claims that Gabe Ashkenazi, the רמתכ"ל/head of the army is there but hasn't seen him yet. He asks around for his coz Adam, as he sees lots of Tzanchanim/Paratroopers but nobody knows Adam. Then he remembers that if they're in basic training like him, they may not know the name of their מפקד - 'he who must not be named.')
7. Was just taken in helicopter. Really cool. ttyl. (Wow! Definitely fun.)

Haven't heard from him since but texted him about the election. He at least had moved on from his initial Libertarian stance and support of Ron Paul.

There you have it. Natan in the army. He'll be home this week. Let the cooking and laundry begin.

A New President

It's unbelievable. It's really unbelievable. Whether or not you're sure about your vote, sure about the world, sure about the economy or the war, or the future of the world in general, it was a thilling election. Even if your guy didn't win, there was something infectious going on - a feeling that everyone was excited to vote, perhaps for the first time in their lives. Ira and I watched the early return reports until some time after 12AM, with Gabe snoring next to us and then we woke up again at 3AM to check in (this with FOX News as our cable network doesn't currently have CNN) and as narcolepsy took over, waited until the alarm went off at 6AM to watch again.

I've never experienced an election from afar but then again, I've never campaigned or done anything to connect into the candidate during the course of the campaign. My first election was 1980 - Reagan, Carter, Anderson and I was so disheartened, I ended up not voting. That wasn't the answer though and I promised myself that I would never miss an election again. That I would cast my vote regardless of whether or not I loved the candidate or not - I would choose and exercise my right to vote, something that not everybody in the world enjoys. This time, despite the fear that absentee ballots wouldn't be counted or that the votes wouldn't get to the right place, I voted. Ira actually dropped off our ballots (Natan's first election!) at the OU the other night. They were having an election event where you could bring your ballots in and know they'd be shipped back to the US together - that seemed a good idea from a place where the mails aren't always perfect.

For me, 2000 and 2004 were not happy elections. That feeling that we, the voters, had been 'had,' wasn't an easy one. That sense that the president had no real feeling for many of the 'rank and file,' wasn't an easy one to shake. He (he should live and be well) seemed to live in some kind of bubble of financial security, emotional distance, family protection and governing doctrine that I never could connect to or understand and appreciate. Maybe there was no way to win in the age of 9/11, Iraq, Afghanistan and the current climate of economic uncertainty. I'm not even sure that our new president will be able to govern as well as he'd like and move forward with new ideas that he set forth during his campaign when he is inheriting so many issues that will not go away easily. Indeed, we need to see his resolve with these basics - Iraq, Afghanistan, the deficit - before we can watch him move forward and set his goals on the Middle East, the US's relationship with the world at large, Universal health care and other important domestic issues.

But here's the thing. It's a great thing to have the US's first African American president. It's a great thing to feel that he's won with good numbers, a large turnout and a wave of emotion and good feelings that will surely help in this early period of adjusting to what's happened (for those who feel disenfranchised and disappointed by his win). Barack HUSSEIN Obama - I love saying that as here, in Israel, that makes people squirm...our new president. Mazal tov to us all. People are downright strange and scary about his election here. There is such fear that he represents an end of the good relationship and the good will of the US to Israel. Here's a good example of some of the rhetoric on this side of the pond and note, I will not quote from resident crazy, Caroline Glick of the J'lem Post who surely must not sleep at night for fear of Iran nukes. One local friend essentially agreed with her recent article that Iran will look to test Obama right away via some action against Israel. I don't know if it's useful to think this way - maybe I'm stupid, maybe I'm naive, I just can't live my life this way, certainly not here, in Israel.

Another piece that got my attention printed via a Facebook Friend who voted for the other guy. It's actually an interesting piece in terms of the writer's history but the conclusions he draws are, at least I think so, unfortunate.

Barack H. Obama and Fidel Castro. What is the difference between the two?
Want Change? (From Richmond Times-Dispatch, Monday, July 7, 2008)

Dear Editor, Times-Dispatch:

Each year I get to celebrate Independence Day twice. On June 30, I celebrate MY independence day and on July 4th, I celebrate America's.

This year is special, because it marks the 40th anniversary of my independence. On June 30, 1968, I escaped Communist Cuba and a few months later, I was in the U.S. to stay. That I happened to arrive in Richmond on Thanksgiving Day is just part of the story, but I digress.

I've thought a lot about the anniversary this year. The election year rhetoric has made me think a lot about Cuba and what transpired there.

In the late 1950s most Cubans thought Cuba needed a change, and they were right. So when a young leader came along, every Cuban was at least receptive.

When the young leader spoke eloquently and passionately and denounced the old system, the press fell in love with him. They never questioned who his friends were or what he really believed in..

When he said he would help the farmers and the poor and bring free medical care and education to all, everyone followed.

When he said he would bring justice and equality to all, everyone said, 'Praise the Lord!' And when the young leader said, "I will be for change and I'll bring you change," everyone yelled, "Viva Fidel!"

But nobody asked about the change, so by the time the executioner's guns went silent the people's guns had been taken away. By the time everyone was equal, they were equally poor, hungry, and oppressed.

By the time the press noticed, it was too late, because they were now working for him. By the time the change was finally implemented, Cuba had been knocked down a couple of notches to Third-World status.

By the time the change was over, more than a million people had taken to boats, rafts and inner tubes. You can call those who made it ashore anywhere else in the world the most fortunate Cubans. And now I'm back to the beginning of my story.

Luckily, we would never in America fall for a young leader who promised change without asking, WHAT change? How will you carry it out? What will it cost America? Would we?

Manuel Alvarez, Jr.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

^^^^^^^^^^
FIDEL CASTRO & OBAMA

All I wish to express, as a former Cuban exile, is that Barack Obama and Fidel Castro share many personality traits, ie:

Both were abandoned by their fathers at an early age.

Both are charming, eloquent lawyers that say exactly what people want to hear at the right time and place.

One never led the nation to suspect he was a communist at heart, the other doesn't mention the word socialism when in reality this is exactly what his agenda stands for.

Both were virtually unknown until they began to use the word 'change' as their main political motto.

Both have egos as tall as the twin towers, yet they manage to present themselves humbly, one in soiled military fatigues and the other sweating and with an undone tie.

Both have the unique ability to distort truth and lies as if they were the same.

Both have the ability to hypnotize the ignorant and fool the wishful thinker and to divide a nation in classes, (divide and you shall win) In Fidel's case he divided the rich against the poor, the illiterate against the educated and the black against the white. In Obama's case even if by omission, he's de-facto dividing the races already.

And lastly I'll use the words of Jorge Santayana to finish my case in point: 'Those who can't remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'

And in the words of Sir Winston Churchill: 'The inherent vice of Capitalism is the unequal distribution of blessings, the inherent vice of Socialism is the equal distribution of misery.'

GOD SAVE AMERICA!

Signed: Andrew J. Rodriguez, Author of 'Adios, Havana,' a memoir

By comparison, read this good piece by Donniel Hartman, son of Rabbi David Hartman and co-Director of the Shalom Hartman Institute. Perhaps this, with less fear and loathing, explains the hopes and fears for the next president.

Enough for now.
I'm happy. Hopefully some of you out there are too.
Here's to a new and different tomorrow.

And baby makes?

The babies are born as most of you know. Jess had her twins Erev Sukkot - 34.5 weeks, by section, because of concern over the smaller one. Bigger guy, who we're convinced will be eclipsed in size by Littler guy, who's being fattened up in the NICU like a goose (he's fed every 2 hours, mostly thru a GTube/'zonda' with a hookup for attaching a syringe with milk) came home after 10 days and the 'settle in' continues. It's not easy to have preemies - they don't really know what to do, or as Ellen Shaw put it, 'they're barely sentient at 40 weeks, let alone at 34 weeks.' So, there you have it.

I'm reminded that Akiva was himself quite 'par-boiled' at 40 weeks. Jessica is working hard at getting Bigger guy to nurse and settle in at home while getting milk up to Little guy in the hospital. I stop in, hold him and offer nursing advice, and try to promise her that life will improve - I remember what Mickey Green said to us after Akiva was born. Ira asked Mickey and Rob, 'when will we be normal?' This after finding out that Akiva had Down Syndrome - who knew what it would mean, how our lives would be, etc - and they said, 'you'll be normal...you'll be better than normal.'

And they have been right. Sometimes we think we're too normal. So too for Jess and Daniel who will surely struggle over the next year or so until they adapt to this enormous change. So too for Amira and Aiden, Daniel's girls, aged 17 and 11, who while excited will have to get used to having these small people around who will demand time and attention. But it's good and exciting and it will be a good adventure for all of them.

Ira and I've have been up to the hospital a few times now to hold Little guy in the evening. We both enjoy it tremendously. He's very alert and despite his smallness (currently weighing in at 1.55k) he seems feisty to us and determined to make it here in this world, crazy as it is. He should be home within another 2 weeks. While it's almost painful to think of him alone in the hospital for 3 weeks now, after having been next to his brother for 34.5, there is that other side of technology and it's seems almost certain that without it we might not be able to continue to enjoy him and watch him grow. Complicated for sure.

The two pictures of Little guy are from Sunday evening at the hospital and the pic of Akiva and Ira from Sunday afternoon - Akiva was home sick with a stomach bug and we all took an afternoon walk late in the day, Akiva leading the way. I apologize for no pic of Bigger guy but don't have a current one. Will remedy that. He's quite sweet and they look very much alike but it's amazing what another 2lbs does for you. Big guy weighs about 2.3k at the moment - not big but certainly more 'babylike' and his cry has gotten quite lusty. Little guy peeps more when he cries but that will change too.

Twins - sheesh.

Night Before

Well, here I am at the computer. Yomtov has been over about 2.5 hours already, and you guys over there in the Diaspora are just sitting down to lunch and you still have another day and endless hours in shul left. Boggles the mind. I should add that I barely survived this final day, so tired I was of shul, cooking and eating. The good thing is that courtesy of our new grill, we grilled (Gabe grilled actually) a fast and easy meal last night of veggies and tofu which we ate in the sukkah, along with spreads and bread (ate the spreads out of the containers!). Today, lunch was courtesy of Bourekas Ima - lasagna and quiches and salad which were enjoyed along with Don & Judy, Michael and Miriam and Gabe's posse of Adin Ner-David and friend Hallel, visiting from Kibbutz Ketura for hag.

Akiva's in bed. Gabe's at the movies with the friends. Ira's at the pharmacy agonizing over the long list of toiletries, etc (but he wanted to go out) and Natan is out with the cousins. Natan is having the equivalent of a bachelor party, I'd say. He's having the pre-army sendoff, where the coz's will tell him what to do say, do, how to handle this, that and the other thing, in addition to advising him as to what he needs to pack - not very much, we're told, as they give you just about everything. Yes, tomorrow, we ship the boy off at 7:30am from Givat Ha'tachmoshet/Ammunition Hill. I'm told it's an organized and chilled sendoff and that the mood will be pleasant and not frenetic. I'm also told that it's a bit like sending a kid off to camp for the first time. I recall that first year at Ramah Berkshires and sitting on the bus nervously until Saul Finkelstein, bless him, took pity and befriended me. Of course, it was in English. I think that we're all ready for this - that is, we've known the date is coming and while we had hoped for a bit of a deferrment, we knew that it might be Oct 22nd. Part of me says, better off get it started then keep waiting for something so huge and unknown that waiting for so long would have been an agony. It's hard to know. I don't know if we were really prepared for this aspect of moving to Israel but is anyone? I guess it will be a seminal moment for all of us in terms of the experience of living here. Hopefully, it will be positive, even with the negatives, for Natan. He's still such a kid - every 18 year old is, right? He's a good boy, though, a very good boy and hopefully, they'll see his worth and he'll meet nice people and do worthwhile things.

On a lighter note, big boy comes home from the hospital tomorrow. He looks great, sort of like a glow-worm doll - little head with bright eyes and small 'swee pea' like body. Pip is doing nicely as well - weighted 1.25 today which is a nice jump for him and his color is good and overall he seems more chilled and no more lights for jaundice. Progress for all. Jess is recovering nicely and has ankles and toes again.

Wish us luck tomorrow!

Lists

Ridiculous the amounts of list it takes to manage life this time of year. There's the To-do list for everyday life, the To-do list for Shutaf life, the To-do list for Akiva - doctor visits, toileting followup and the To-do list for Natan - army doctor appts, letters to write, hands to wring. Add to this the Shopping List for constant food replenishment for holiday/shabbat cooking. Just finished Shabbat and already have to think/plan lists for Monday night/Tuesday. Then, there's the visits to the Sukkah which mean meals with sister Sarah on Thursday night - we're thinking of finally firing up the new grill, and that's followed by Shabbat again, and then there's Sunday night with Jess & Daniel and my parents and then it's get ready for Simhat Torah!

This morning, after our usual wakeup call with Akiva at 5AM (he tends to wake up even earlier on Shabbat and days off), we laid in bed attempting to ignore him. At 7AM, I got up and went out for a run because I couldn't lay in bed anymore thinking about my lists. Then, I got dressed and went to shul on the early shift to Sharon and Nathan Laufer's son, Motti's BarM. Motti, is the charming youngest son of their brood of 4, the olders being triplets. It was a lovely service and everyone enjoyed hearing Motti leyn/read Torah and teach a new song to the crowd (in lieu of a speech). Even better, were the ice cream cones for Kiddush - Akiva and I shared one. It was crowded but we managed but I can't wait to get back to the ICCY, Shira Hadasha's roomier permanent home.

So, what are you guys eating over Yomtov? Any new ideas for me? Have to look at my cookbooks. Need some new inspiration. Have honored guests, Don and Judy arriving, in addition to local faces. Need to show off my new pressure cooker and my new stove. Will keep you posted.

Gemara Class and Yom Kippur Thoughts

Since I'm on a roll, might as well go with it especially when I have things to say/write. You, my friends, know I always have something to say but making time to blog is a separate affair.

I take an excellent Gemara class on Tuesday mornings with Gilla Rosen, wife of Mickey Rosen, founder of the Yakar Center in J'lem (as well as London and more recently, Tel Aviv). Gilla is a known and respected scholar in her own right, one of a generation of women making waves in Orthodo circles - that is to say, unafraid to demand their right to learn and share that learning with others, mainly women. She's originally from the US - brother Jon traveled through Europe with her brother Charlie a billion years ago - but lived for many years in London before moving to Israel. Yakar was at the forefront of the spiritual, what many might call, Carlebach style approach to tefilla/prayer and well before Shira Hadasha was ever founded, provided a place where one could sing, daven and take their time with tefilla. I remember that when I would visit Israel, I would accompany Jess and even my father sometimes on a Friday night for Kabbalat Shabbat. My mother would groan because she knew Shabbat dinner would be a late affair on such evenings.

One of my favorite Gemara teachers of all time is Debra Reed Blank, who led a group of faithful followers in various study of Mishna and some other texts, many years ago at Kane Street. Debra (here's an article of hers about liturgy) had this great way of bringing the ancient texts to life with her straightforward approach to the translation and understanding of whatever it was the Rabbi's were discussing. It had been some years since I have had the chance to delve back in but I was recommended the class by local, Linda Gradstein and I started during a quiet time, when I even had chance to prepare each week, which I needed given that it had been years since I had engaged in such a serious class, taught in Hebrew, with experienced classmates. It's a nice group of women - all quite focused and some quite talented at Gemara study as well. I confess that I don't think I'm one of the talented ones but nonetheless, enjoy the 'pilpul.' Last year, we worked on the sixth chapter of B'rachot, studying all sorts of things related to tefilla/prayer. I even gave a little presentation (we all did) at the end of the year. It's been a good thing. This year, we're moving on to the 7th chaper, which we'll start addressing after the holidays. Up until then, we're looking at some stuff in Yomah related to Yom Kippur - fasting, making t'shuva/repentence, stuff like that.

We were discussing the call to saying prayers of Vidui - things like the 'Al Cheyt/I have sinned' or Ashamnu/that long list of all those things we've done/said/thought. Why are we called to say these thing - historical references like the sin of the golden calf. We looked at source material in the Torah - Vayikra - Acharei Mot - that refer to Vidui as something important, in addition to making the appropriate sacrifices for wrongdoing. I liked one section that discussed that your issues with G-d and repentence and forgiveness are different then what you need to do to be forgiven by friends for wrongdoing. I hereby ask forgiveness at the juncture from all my friends and family, near and far, for anything I may have done (and I'm sure I did) that upset or offended or hurt you in some way this past year. I hope to do better in the year(s) to come.

I got to thinking about Akiva and Ira and I this past year. We struggle these days, trying not to feel resentment at the daily drudgery - the endless trips to the bathroom to attempt to learn toileting, the cleanup and the laundry, the morning wakeups (now at 5:15AM since when you change the clocks, it just means an hour earlier), the endless pieces of bread to toast and lunches and 'elevenses' (10:00 break meal here) to prepare, and the knowledge that it ain't changing or ending anytime soon. I talked with my mother about this very topic today with regard to my father - the drudgery is different but the fatigue, petty humiliations and grief that feels is quite real with regard to his dementia. It's hard to make your peace and not get angry and yet, you always have to remind yourself, as we do with regard to Akiva, 'what's so bad about being retarded?' It's not his fault, indeed it's how the Creator determined whom he would be. It's not our fault that we get tired but we do him a disservice in needing/wanting him to be different and yet, how can we not? No good answer here but acceptence is the overall theme that we work at on a regular basis. But - I found it hard at 5:15 this morning, when he came downstairs all bright eyed and chipper and then again at 6:00 when he arrived again for a cuddle and then eventually, prepared him french toast at 7:15 (he's off today for erev YK). He's so easy to please - I'm the harder one to please, I guess, caught up more in the existential nature of life. So, on this erev YK, I ask Akiva's slicha u'mechila/forgiveness or as Barbara said to me on the phone today as only a Boro Pk/Flatbush girl could, 'do you mochel me?'

צום קל - An easy fast to all those fasting.

Duchening at the Wall

Since I've been so remiss in blogging, I neglected to report about my seminal davening moment since arriving here. Our friends, Haviva and Jacob Ner-David, celebrated their 2nd child, Adin's BarM in late August. The Ner-David's are an idiosyncratic clan - they daven in many different places of varying practice and religious style. Haviva, who has an Orthodox ordination that is controversial to some, is also the author of a great book on women's issues, feminism and Orthodoxy. Jacob, a successful business guy and local venture capitalist, went to high school with Jessica (of course, there is the Jessica connection) back in the old country. They have 6 great kids and Gabe goes to school with many of them at the Democratic School. What makes both Jacob and Haviva even more interesting is their absolute devotion to the environment, co-existence projects locally and generally, things that are good for the world, both from a Jewish and non-religious perspective.

The BarM was at the Southern Wall, right by Robinson's Arch. For those of you who haven't been, think of it as the Kotel, extended. It's a great site, with wonderful historical high points, from the staircase that the Kohanim ascended to reach the Temple Mount to the ancient grafitti near the arch, which essentially says, 'we'll be back.' The area has been designated for the 'non-Orthodox' to have services without offending anyone. The BarM was called for 8am and as we arrived, we were pleased to note the varying areas of men and women. There was the men's area (loosely defined by an obvious group of guys but this grew to later include a mixed group nearby as well), the women's area, and in the middle mixed seating. Davening was led in an a somewhat central area - I should add that davening took a long time, as Haviva and Jacob are afficianados of the Leeder Minyan, which is known for it's looooong and spiritual services. It was Rosh Hodesh as well, meaning lots more to do before eating brunch.

I had been asked to lead Mussaf Rosh Hodesh and I was uptight. What would it be like to get up and lead Mussaf in this very mixed crowd? I worried about this for a while and then reminded myself that Haviva wouldn't have asked me without thinking through this matter and moreover, anybody who knows Jacob and Haviva and came today, might expect that leadership could be either men or women. Then, I realized that I'd be leading duchening/Kohanic blessing as well. This was a wild concept as I'd be doing it in Jerusalem, in mixed company, at the Wall! I must admit that even I, the cynical, 'oh it's just the kotel' was somewhat pleased. I had to rush my repetition as time was short, which was fine with me, but as I got to the blessings, I enjoyed the moment and the rush.

Pretty cool.

Shana Tova

Fall came suddenly to these parts and there I found myself, deep in a pile of menus, recipe books, shopping lists and general 'things to do' before Rosh Hashana stuff. I determined to get myself in the mood and did - we shopped, cooked together (Moroccan veg stew with saffron, salads, spreads, desserts (these amazing, spicy, think Jacques Torres's spicy hot chocolate, Brownies), I really can't remember anymore, and ultimately enjoyed the 2 days of holidaying. We davened at Mayanot after weeks of agonizing over where to go. We actually agonized for so long over where to go - Beit Boyer (boring but delightfully Ashkenazic and great shofar blower), Shira Hadasha (long but spiritual but lousy shofar blower), or, Mayanot (small, not enthusiastic enough at times but egal, some decent shofar blowing and nice davening...most of the time). But I'm being unkind because Mayanot was nice - crowd was pleasantly filled out by 65 Nativnikim (one-year post HS USY program), and other locals. Davening was pleasant - Ira the first night, Daniel for Musaf day one, I read Torah day 2, Natan haftorah day 2, and other locals filling in the other parts doing a nice and spirited job of making the Tefila enjoyable.

Ira and I split Akiva duties, each of us coming late one day - in time for shofar blowing during Mussaf and some of Akiva's favorite local tunes. A funny moment Day 2 was had during Mussaf when the Ba'al Tefila, Aryeh, sang thru two choral pieces (Lewandowski, of course) and the community sang along in all parts. Laurie Yorr would have laughed, we all smiled, chuckled and did our part, albeit with imperfect timing but lots of gusto.

Ate meals with a nice mix of family - Jess and Daniel (he was home this year for the first time in forever - usually he has a high holiday pulpit job but with Jess due soon, he didn't go) and the girls, homeschooling family with lots of lovely boys, Mona and Robert, Blass family and 2 Nativnikim.

I missed Ray and I missed Rena and all the rest of youz.
Shana Tova.

Camp Report

I have barely caught my breath after a very busy 6 weeks or so this summer. Finally dipped the toes back into the waters of teen theater with a workshop that ran for 3 weeks. It was satisfying but exhausting as I was pretty much the only one running the show although I had wonderful local visitors - actors, costume and makeup people, local directors and production people as well as local musical theater people. The kids got a real education, I think, except for Natan who is perhaps too much of a theater snob at this point. In truth, for him, the level wasn't quite there - after 5 years with the NYCHEA players, he's fairly comfortable with whatever you throw at him and can read it fluently (even if he doesn't know what it's about) and will jump into anything and at least try it. This crowd however, didn't have the reading fluency, even if they have the speaking fluency. That's the interesting complication. As well, in conservative Jerusalem, to read Beckett is odd to the kids and I found that there ability to take in more modern pieces was limited. David Ives worked for everyone, thankfully, and we had a lot of fun with our 2-day Stage Combat workshop which was given by two local people - one the director of a new and young Shakespearian company. All in all, an experience.  We finished up with a quick and dirty presentation that was also problematic for some of my actors who like a fully finished piece with costumes, set, etc. I kept pointing out that  staged reading is still and effective way to present new material that has not been fully learned and that it's an okay method - everyone knows that it's not a 'finished piece,' but that was still a hard sell.

Segued from STW to Shutaf right after Tisha'a Ba'av. Camp had started already on 8/11 but I didn't finish STW until the 18th so Miriam, my partner, was doing yoeman's work and it was work this season as we had 40 kids, 7 young adults with special needs (and some were quite involved in terms of needing facilitating) and lots of staff. Our staff felt overwhelmed at first at the multitude of issues - emotional and behavioral - as well as just adjusting in to the program, the heat and the day. We worked on the fly to solve problems and educate the staff as best as possible but it wasn't a slam dunk. Funny how having 34 kids for 6 days before Pesach was complicated but doable but once you have 40 kids and 3 weeks of camp, you're in that game of camp with all of it's warts and stuff and day to day support of staff even more than the kids in order to get the through the experience.  We learned alot for the next camp which is fine.

There were many best things but one of the best things were our volunteers. There is nothing quite like the NRG of a 14/15 year old boy and we had a few teens, (one girl too) who came and worked hard and really enjoyed the challenge and look forward to returning to Shutaf for our next camp. That's pretty cool. We also had some other younger staffers this year as well as one retiree who joined us as a volunteer - all added to that feeling that we're building a community and not just a camp. Good karma.

Now, we move on to planning the fall. Once again, sweating the funds, trying to plan a fall fundraiser and trying to figure out how to make it happen for the next year. It's exhausting and very multi-dimensional work and I'd really just like a vacation.