Monday, April 07, 2008

Family report

You may wonder why my blogging has really dropped off. Fun gone out of my life? Israel no longer so fresh and new? Certainly, these are good possibilities. That is, we've settled in a bit here, much to our surprise, people are busy - Natan's in play #3 of this year, Tick, Tick, Boom!, where he plays Michael, aged 30, HIV positive (actually he announces it more like AIDS, but I informed Natan that he's probably alive today, unlike the protagonist, Jonathan Larson, the playwright, who while straight, died of an aortic aneurysm the night before Rent officially opened) and struggling to make his peace with having left the world of acting for the business world and ultimately financial success. The play isn't a perfect one, and the production is a simply produced one and not perfectly directed (it's a teen direction team) but the principals all work hard and in particular, the girlfriend has a great voice. For Natan, it's a real departure - a role of some maturity, with modern, pop music which he has worked hard to learn to sing as his general style is more classical, and real choreography done by a young, hip hip dancer named Marvin. This play is definitely more fun than Korzcak's Children, where he plays a Nazi lieutenant, albeit it a sympathetic one. That play, is not a bad one, and the guy who plays Janusz Korzcak is really great.

Then of course, there was the family participation in the recent Wizard of Oz - Ira as Wizard, Natan as Tree, Winkie and Emerald Citizen. That was fun for many reasons mostly having to do with Ira's return to the stage after 30 years, in what was a brilliant and somewhat typecast role (at least to his family). Imagine if you will, Ira in vest and tailcoat, pate shining in the spotlights pontificating about brains 'Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity.'
How about fear, 'Frightened? Child, you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe... I was petrified.' And as his balloon floats away without Dorothy - 'I don't know how it works...' It should be added that Gabe and Natan also worked liked trojans backstage - it was a big production.

Gabe, the Hebrew speaking expert of the house, plays football on Sundays, baseball on Mondays, ping pong on Tuesdays (he's retiring from that, he tells me) and TURNS 15 on TUESDAY!!! This is too much for me to dwell on really and we're canceling his birthday this year. He's really enjoying the Democratic School although I assure you that not much educational is allowed to penetrate past his teenage brain. I hope that we'll have a breakthrough and I'm looking forward to sitting on his head when he 'homeschools' this summer. We'll see.

Akiva and I are just 'floating here in the pool.' Akiva continues to enjoy school and his afternoons of horseback riding, occasional trips to the pool (this will increase with the warmer weather) and park (right now it's perfect park season) and his animal chug/activity at Ramat Rachel, playing with the bunnies, feeding the ducks and the goat and sheep and other animals who live there. He's much taller for those of you who haven't seen him in a while and his Hebrew continues come along nicely. His horseback riding is fabulous - he's posting ('kum-shev') and he's raising his hands with the reins and turning the horse. This is truly exciting to watch and I think that Fran in Brooklyn at Kensington Stables would be delighted to hear about it. His teacher Netanela is great with him and really skilled too. We're still struggling with toilet training but I imagine that as in all things Akiva related, it will take it's time and we need to be patient and accepting.

Shutaf (to see pics, look at our old website) Pre-Pesach camp will, to use a Hebrew turn of phrase, get on it's way/'yotzeh la'derekh' next Sunday. We're very excited - 30 kids (we're waiting on the final few), 4 young adults, 14 staffers, and 2 very tired founders, myself and my lovely partner, Miriam Avraham. I can't believe that I'm a camp administrator and I can't believe that we've come this far in less than a year! We raised close to 15k to make this camp happen and it would not have happened without the dedication and support of friends near and far. Pretty much all I do these days, is Shutaf, which has been both wonderful and exhausting. We hope over the next few months to be able to find funding that will let us breathe a bit more and focus on the summer program as well as getting our weekly youth movement program going next fall. All good things for kids with special needs and their friends here in Israel.

Beth says, 'Get involved, tell your community, email me about how you can visit us, volunteer, be part of the Shutaf community of friends.' But seriously, this is a good and important project and even from afar you can make a difference. Readers, if you know of anyone to whom this would resonate, please help me be in touch with them. If you have contacts in Israel as well, I'd be delighted to follow up on them. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a a country to raise awareness and change ideas about acceptance and inclusion and build real equality and understanding between all people - whether they have a disability or not.

Monday, March 31, 2008

I davened at Shira Hadahsa

Yes, finally, I summoned up the uumph and led services at Shira Hadasha. It was really rather tame. Except for the one moment that I couldn't remember the currently sung melody of Mizmor L'david (meaning, I could remember the old favorite) and I looked over at Jessica and Tova and Tova started humming but I couldn't remember it again 2 seconds later. Of course, once I finished the paragraph before hand, singing with everyone, it flowed right in but for a moment...panic (or should I say, 'panica').

I was reminded of all the davening that I've done - from Shabbat evening (including Ma'ariv) to Shabbat mornings, to Yom Tov mornings to Rosh Hashanah morning (a big thrill) - but this was big crowd of singers and it's interesting trying to harness that big crowd to do what you want to do. I stuck to the standards and figured I 'll try something new another time. Got some nice comments which felt good.

Acoustics unfortunately are terrible at Hartman, so I was convinced that nobody was singing along, just like at Kane Street, except no Noah singing loudly in the back.

I'm reading Torah there in 2 Shabbatot - Metzora. Not too hard, should be a good intro for me. Working my way in slowly.

Akiva's Tune-up

There may be many things that are hard to get used to here, but this, I could grow accustomed to easily. That is, once I know to pack for a 'three-day tour.' Akiva went in for a tune up the other day - brakes, new tires, whole new getup. All except for a paint job - they don't do exteriors. (Sorry, that's a joke for those with a kid with special needs - hahaha.)

We made an appointment at Hadassah/Har Hatzofim for Tuesday. We had a made an appt at the clinic for kids with Down Syndrome (Tues is DS day and Monday is CF day, etc) in Feb but it was cancelled due to the inch of snow that fell that day. We rescheduled and went last week. We were told that it would be a long day and we packed what we felt was a respectable amount of provisions for Akiva - 2 small yogurts, sandwich, some fruit and a drink. For ourselves, we assumed that coffee or a bite of his sandwich would sustain us until we finished and dropped him off of school later that morning. BOY, WERE WE WRONG.

We arrived at 8:30am and staggered out at about 3:30pm. And here's the kicker, didn't pay anything - at least nothing extra for our pains, except for the few prescriptions the next day for his ear gunk (nis35, or about $10).

Akiva visited with (in addition to paperwork filled out and handled with the guy at the front desk, the nurse in charge of seeing that we went to the right stations, the nurse at the eye area....):
1. Ear Doctor - wax buildup (see, it's like a car) and some redness. Lots of drops for each ear and nose too and tomorrow he goes for a clean out.
2. Eye Doctor and optometrist - this was interesting because optho and opto don't get along but in this case, they conferred, discussed and Akiva will go back for followup once he gets his new glasses (tomorrow we'll order) and once we figure out what's next (maybe more surgery), etc, as he is very nearsighted.
3. Physical therapist. He could use more therapy - duh - and maybe new orthotics too - double duh - and otherwise looks good. Akiva meanwhile had begun to descend into that sort of deep quiet that he can do, accompanied by chewing on his fingers for enjoyment and making a loud noise to tune out all other noise. I was beginning to wish I could do the same.
4. Dietician. This was a bit of a hoot for me. In typical Israeli fashion, she informed me that he needs more dairy calcium. Why does he drink rice milk? Why would I do that? I told her that he is congested much of the year and that we're careful with calcium and there are other ways of getting your calcium than just in milk and dairy stuff. She told me a yogurt a day and what about hard cheese, etc, etc. I felt like saying, 'honey, you're preaching to the food choir here,' 'I know my stuff...' but Ira glared at me that I should be quiet and let her finish her lecture. I did.
5. Social worker. This was great. A nice religious, former American which helped in terms of language and talking. We chatted freely and openly about life with Akiva and the things we could use help with - life with Akiva and feelings of fatigue, finding after-school activities, help in the house, handicapped parking permit.....

In between, Akiva shuttled back and forth for his eye drops, eye exam and arm wrestles with Picado and his father, who's name I can't remember but it was something like Kussinum, which is thank you in Hungarian, a lovely Ethiopian duo. We talked about languages that we know and don't know - I know English better than Hebrew and he knows Hebrew better than Amharic.

6. The doctor. At the end of the day, we met with Dr. Tannenbaum, a lovely guy, who helped us summarize everything up and also talked with us about side issues, from toileting problems (still a work in progress) to other developmental matters. He ultimately drew blood on Akiva for a host of minor things to be checked and then.....we were done.

DONE. DONE. DONE.
Yes, we had work to do and things to follow up on but we had handled everything....except the dentist. We still have to find out about that.
And because it was Hadassah, which is a Maccabi (our HMO), we didn't pay anything extra. Meaning, other than what we pay quarterly.
Astounding.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Blood? Delayed Post - Sorry

Note to my readers: This post was obviously delayed and I really struggled over writing it and thinking through what really was on my mind. Suffice to say that I am conflicted. This post was finished today, March 31st.

March 1.
The newspaper was really fun to read this weekend, although at least we had a few days to digest the events of Thursday night at Merkaz Harav Kook before seeing the pictures of the fresh-faced kids, the youngest 14, who were killed/murdered/gunned down while studying.

We were on our way to eat dinner out for Ira's b-day. Heard a billion sirens and saw a local ambulance whiz down our street. Alan confirmed what had happened the first. We drove downtown, listening to the news and Daniel working his 2 phones. Daniel's TRY-Ramah High School kids are here for 6 months of learning, enjoying the country, and events like this try the composure of all the parents. He likes to send out an email right away to reassure them but in this case, the kids were actually out having a free evening (with supervision of course - it's funny when I think of how free kids used to be on their trips - ask Ira about Ramah Seminar in 1978) and over the next hour, he spoke to staff, rounded up the kids who were either downtown, at the mall or at the Hartman Center (they all were sent them home in a taxi), drafted the email (after hearing from one parent) and breathed a sigh of relief when they were all back at the Havat Ha'noar, where they live when they're here. We stood and watched the TV in a few places and eventually went and had our dinner - Alan stayed home though (Lisa was with us and Jessica and Daniel) and Natan met up with 2 friends after his rehearsal and went home with them. His friends were downtown at the bus station, which is quite close to Merkaz Harav when they heard what had happened and decided not to hang around that area. They slept at our house on Thursday night, which they sometimes do anyway, as they live in a moshav in the Jerusalem hills. I was glad when they were all home.

We spill blood and call it a military action - collateral damage, to borrow a term I learned during the Iraq war (the bombing period). They spill blood and we are shocked and horrified - but is the Jewish country, the Jewish way? Are we fighting for our survival the way we did in '48? I don't think so. We have our survival to think of and we face the threat of universal hatred and muslim extremacy but we're not the few anymore or the weak. We have a powerful army - well-trained, impressive, with the ability to wreak havoc, especially in densely populated places like refugee camps and Gaza City. I'm glad that we have an army, a country, bad politics, good and bad Jews, etc, but I worry about the direction of people's thoughts, the level of their distrust, hatred and general belief that most Arabs are only capable of the most minimal kind of modern thinking towards others. I argued about this with my mother the other day. First we argued politics and the state of the upcoming election in the US. I'm proud to report that she called me a Communist (I'm not, but hey, it was my first time) because of the depth of my distrust of how big $$$ operates in the US and my feeling that there's too much collusion of the rich - they run the show an the rest of us just spin around in their orbit hoping for the best. And let's not talk about socialized medicine, etc.

Once we finished the election - trust me she won't vote for Obama, and that has a lot to do with his last name and possible Muslim connections - Israeli's are very jittery about this, regardless of how many articles have been written and I don't suggest that you speak to my sister Sarah about this as her views are fairly poisonous and she lives in the center of the country so my hypothesis may be shot to hell - we moved onto Israel. Needless to say, my mother feels that I am too free and easy and not willing to face the facts that are on the table - they hate us and we hate them and there really isn't anyone to talk to and never will be.

I wonder if this is the Jerusalem thing as I now know what a bizarre bubble I live in. Jerusalem, much as it pains me to admit, is not a normal place. Populated by the ultra-religious, Arabs, regular religious types and others, it is not a place of regular thinking. It is both alternative and conservative, hippyish and straightlaced. People are fairly bigoted here which always bothers me and yet capable of enormous kindnesses to each other, regardless of social group and ethnic background. They live here and never go elsewhere in the country - except to their home countries (if they're from the West) and maybe a bit to Europe. Israelis love to travel, mind you, but J'lemites are again, a different breed which yields a strange insularity not found in Petach Tikva or Ra'anana (forget about comparisons to Tel Aviv), for example.

I lectured Lisa Smith about this when we were in Rome together. Thing is, when you live in J'lem you can forget that problem and it's not a good thing.

A few weeks removed from the events of that night, I can still say that I shudder when I read the newspaper and think of how lousy it all seems lately. Those boy soldiers were kidnapped in 2006 and we're no closer to working out a deal? Sderoters are still getting bombed? Palestinians are still getting harassed by soldiers on their way to the hospital, or coming home from the store with new purchases (the dreaded washing machine story from Ha'aretz - I can't find the link to the story but it was a tale of abuse of power on the part of young soldiers - and this on a day that Natan had to go off to the Enlistment offices) and Gaza'ans have no freedoms. Doesn't anyone want to live differently in this part of the world?

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Security Alert - Orange?

Received in my email box today.

"Warden Message -- Americans Reminded to be Security Conscious In Light
of Violence In the Gaza Strip
In light of the recent escalation in violence in the Gaza Strip,
American citizens are reminded to practice vigilant security awareness.
This includes maintaining a low profile, varying daily schedules and
routines, avoiding crowds and demonstrations and remaining alert for
people and objects that appear suspicious or out of place. While there
is no specific information indicating a threat to Americans or American
interests, there is the potential for heightened tensions. Random
checkpoints and closures of crossings from the West Bank into Israel
can be expected. In addition, planned and spontaneous demonstrations may
occur in Jerusalem, in the vicinity of the Old City and outlying areas.
American citizens are reminded of the current Travel Warning for Israel,
the West Bank and Gaza available at http://travel.state.gov/. The
Department of State continues to urge U.S. citizens to carefully
consider the risks of travel to Israel, to defer unnecessary travel to
the West Bank and to avoid all travel to Gaza."

Yesterday, I had a meeting in Tzur Baher, a small Arab village right down the road from us (click link for map view) here in South Jerusalem. When I drive to Ramat Rahel to work out (almost daily), I turn right at RR and the cars heading to Tzur Baher turn left. My camp project, Shutaf, has been heating up as we attempt to come up with funds for the pre-Pesach camp and this summer as well. (I'm glad to report that we've had some lovely gifts from friends in Brooklyn and some in other places as well - for more information on how to get involved - you and your community, just pop me an email at bysteinberg@gmail.com.) We would like to involve the local Arab community - bring kids with special needs and their friends from local villages in our area and there are a few. Resources and needs are just as high there and as we all know, working together for our kids is not a bad thing. We've been chatting with a lovely social worker in Tzur Baher, Amahl and had planned a day visiting the school where she works - seeing the programming ideas she's implemented, and talking about feasibility of bringing in a group of kids to Shutaf. Unfortunately, she called to cancel, telling us that the mood of the kids at school was not a calm one given the IDF's incursion into Gaza and that we shouldn't come, it wouldn't be safe.

While I was happy that she had been thoughtful, and we will reschedule for next week to meet somewhere on our side of town - coffee, etc - I was disappointed. I guess I hoped that I would be able to make my small bit of difference, regardless of politics, emotions and ill will. I still think it's the work of ordinary people that will one day force their will on the government - somehow and someway - I was reminded of the facts on the ground and they're not easy ones. I can barely stomach reading the newspaper lately. I have my choice of anxiety, fear, destruction and death in Sderot and Ashkelone (where thankfully, the numbers aren't that bad) and complete and utter mayhem in Gaza. I know that negotiations probably continue on in secret but in truth, wonder what are we negotiating for? To continue to kill each other and make each other's lives miserable?

Natan received an invitation/order to go to an army meeting at the end of the month. It's a job connected with munitions - techie job having to do with modern military stuff. Might be interesting, he said 'if it wasn't the army.' While I am realistic about armies defending their civilians and countries defending their turf, I am reminded as always of Golda Meir's famous quote - 'We can forgive you for killing our sons. But we will never forgive you for making us kill yours," but even a heart-rending quote like that becomes almost simplistic and naive in today's charged atmosphere of Hamas/Fatah/Israel and nobody seems to have an answer. What's with that?

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy Sylvester

It's 2008. Who can believe it? Don't you remember how you'd think about the year 2000. How old you'd be, what you might be doing, etc...Of course, the first big year like that was 1984 but that's really a long time ago and who remembers where I was that New Years (probably Beth Mann's house).

Was remembering the ghost of New Years past with some visitors currently in town - longtime camp buddy, Howie Feiwus and his wife, Michelle. We both remembered a New Year's of our youth at Avi Havivi's house with the requisite 'barfer' in the back room (all over the coats, yech) and sleeping on the floor in Avi's living room and waking up the next morning really early and getting the heck out of there, fast. Later years were more sedate...there was the New Year's dinner at Danny and Annemaureen for the Millenium, marked by altogether too much food, many courses, many hours of eating, resting, walking and eating again - galette des rois, my chestnut layer cake, Danny's campari and grapefuit sorbet (sorry, Lisa, can't remember what you made but I'm sure it was good). There was the New Year's that Ira and went to bed before midnight - not a tragedy really. Then, there was last night, our second New Year's event that we've thrown here in Jerusalem.

New Year's is sort of the 'bastard child' here. Many don't celebrate at all, especially in religious and conservative Jerusalem. As well, we live in a world where increasingly, the secular and seemingly benign holidays of our youth are not celebrated at all - Thanksgiving barely registers on the religious Jew's calendar and Xmas break is no longer an established tradition for all. Most kids at religous day schools in the Ortho world are off for their mid-winter break during the end of January. New Year's with it's associated St. Sylvester, although I assure you I had no idea of this connection until coming to Israel after college and heard people refer to New Year's as Sylvester (and even then, I think it was some years before I heard about St. Sylvester) puts people off as they are not comfortable with the connection. As well, it's not a holiday at all despite the fact that people do go out and certainly in Tel Aviv, that 'den of iniquity', it's a happening event. But let's be honest, knowing you have to get up the next day and put the kids on the bus, show up at work and generally function does put a damper on the festivities. A few of our guests have NEVER been to New Year's festivities. One friend, daughter of a prominent Orthodox Rabbi, who's a real modernist, said that her father felt very strongly that one should not celebrate the secular New Year's at all. She decided that at the age of 50 she could come to the party, enjoy and not worry about 'falling off the path.' She wasn't going to tell Mom and Dad about it though. Another friend, who grew up mostly here, has just never had the opportunity to do the 'New Year's thing.' But we all agreed that it was nice to party not on Shabbat. There is a dearth of non-Shabbat and holiday leisure time in this country and it gets boring to only entertain on Shabbat but with a busy 6 day work week, when can one make a party?

Last year, we had a few friends over and it was nice. This year, we went more for the gusto with an expanded guest list and had about 25 people last night for a really lovely party. One local wag commented that when she heard the noise of the party as she approached, she realized that it was from our house, a far cry from last year's more sedate party when, as she put it, 'we didn't know anybody!'

We had fun dips (Natan had a heavy hand on the chilies this year so the feta cheese and peppers was almost uneatable). We made Howard Solomon's Muhamara which is based on Paula Wolfert's recipe, and various munchies (thanks Miriam L for the spinach/cheese pie), accompanied by decent drinkables and good music d jay'ed by Natan. The desserts were quite exciting - as I had promised - Jess made a fab trifle (Nigella's recipe, watch her demo it here), Sheryl Abbey made apple pie (excellent crust) Debbie Perla made chocolate cheesecake, Natan and I, truffles, and Ira and I, passion fruit mousse parfaits - these were really great and if you want the recipe, we'll be blogging (give us a day or two) about it shortly. A couple of glasses of champagne and one really good bottle that was drunk on the sly - thanks Linda G - made it a really fun night.

Join us - Next year in J'lem.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Hasbara Beth and Ira Style

From Wikipedia: Hasbara, Hasbara (Hebrew: הסברה‎, also spelt Hasbarah) is a Hebrew noun that literally means "explanation". [1][2] The term has been used by the State of Israel and by independent groups to describe their efforts to explain Israeli government policies, and to promote Israel to the world at large.

In other words, Hasbara, is the local spin. There are many who feel that Israel is terrible at Hasbara. Our own Elisheva, Sarah's daughter, currently serving in the IDF in 'Doveyr Tzahal' (Spokesperson's Dept), feels that the army works hard to help journalists understand what's going on but could do better at certain times yet with security concerns being what they are it's often an unwinnable game.

We've realized over the last year and a half of living here that we have our own Hasbara methodology which perhaps if employed more would make for a happier world. We get a phone call or email from a friend, close or long lost. 'We're coming into town' they tell us. We respond with happiness and pleasure - sometimes tinged with exhaustion as certain times of the year are marked by continuous guests (holidays, Xmas/New Years, summertime). 'Want to go out to eat?' they often ask. 'Sure' we respond, 'but maybe you want to come over and have dinner by us...' 'Really?' they say, 'Ok, how about Shabbat?' And we host - dinner on a weeknight means soup and stir-fry or something not to fancy (ask Rena S, we've fed her nicely - then again, she shleps from Costco for us and deserves dessert and a good bottle of wine as well), or evening coffee and cake and we try not to yawn too much (we're not vacationing and wake up for Akiva's bus is 6:15 every day Sun-Fri). Shabbat really is best as even if we're tired on Friday night, we're happy, relaxed and glad to sit and hang out. And if we can get you to come to shul, even better and we'll always shlep the visitor to Shira Hadasha for their lengthy but spirited davening. We make it up to you with a good scotch and a good meal. Shabbat day means shul, lunch and even a game of grab scrabble or if Alan shows up, some bridge. Sometimes we can play during the week too - trips to Tel Aviv to shop are always fun, as well as the shuk in Jerusalem for our favorite coffee and 'croissanterie' and the occasional hike in the countryside if a day can be found. All in good fun and all to show you how we like to enjoy ourselves here.

We're happy to talk politics if you'd like, answer questions about our life here and generally field inquiries about whatever as best as possible. We ask that you not grill Natan too much about the army which he hates talking about but will try to be pleasant if he can.

Then, there's The Honey. Our Tel Aviv partner, Hadass Tesher, said in a conference call the other day that The Honey is her form of Hasbara and I thought, 'what a brilliant statement.' Indeed, people have said to me that what they like about The Honey is that it is completely non-political, although we do list occasional community happenings that may not be liked by all, our emphasis is on living a good life here, enjoying all that Israel has to offer, from the North to the South, from the mix of cultures and the mash of people from all over the world who arrive here to live and work here. If we could only sell our particular brand of Hasbara to the Ministry of Tourism or some big company that would like to sponsor us. ..we're working on it.

But the upshot is that if you come and visit us, like the 35 or so before you - no, make that 45 as we hosted a party of 10 this past Shabbat, we'll make you coffee, serve you cake and if you play your cards right, Shabbat dinner and a tiyul (trip out and about) could happen as well. We want to see you here in Israel, and want to show you our house, introduce you to some of our new friends, let Akiva get excited that you came on a plane to visit him - in short, give you a bit of a taste of how the locals (I guess that's what we are) live.

Give us a call. We're waiting to hear from you.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Spinning in Hebrew

Taking a spinning class in Hebrew is an interesting experience. Each instructor has their own teaching style, read delivery style. So, Gustavo, (Tues and Wed evenings) originally from S. America, focuses on rapid cycling - he values the level of pressure in time, like double time/fast or triple time/really, really fast, really only Gustavo can turn his legs that fast, and then, there's high pressure (meaning turning the dial up high) and we're all huffing but Gustavo's doing nicely. During the class, he talks a bit, tells us it shouldn't be easy and given that it's nighttime and the disco ball is turning and the lights are off, we all just mind our own business.

Then, there's Mindy, here from Montreal for the last 13 years or so. Her Hebrew is good but mercifully, she throws in a good bunch of English. From her we've learned the terminology for standing up straight, watching that our chest and heads don't sink down and adjusting the pressure to her notions of hard and easy, all delivered with her breezy smile, swinging ponytail and nary a droplet of sweat.

Aryeh is the most amusing from my perspective and the most Israeli - then again, he is Israeli. A retired army man, can't remember what he did but clearly it was not something that allowed him to get fat eating humus and yelling at recruits, he's in impressively good shape for a guy who I'm told has 2 grandchildren - you do the potential math, even if he married and had kids when he was young. His delivery style is 'early military', punctuated by the sounds he likes to make to keep time, 'tock tock' along with his head ticking right and left in time with the music. He takes no prisoners, gives you little idea of what to expect but as you get to know him, you begin to recognize when he's about to up the ante, pick up the pace, start peddling wildly fast and generally, leave the rest of us in the dust. Ira and I never understand much of what he yells out to us during class - he just doesn't say anything that I really recognize but we manage just fine and are always proud of ourselves for making it through.

Today, Aryeh asked me if I bike outside of class - not that much these days to be honest. A combination of a healthy fear of J'lem roads which are barely big enough for traffic, let alone bikes and an unfortunate lack of public awareness about sharing the road with bikes in the first place. I told Aryeh that I need a new bike - which is true. I have a lovely but ancient peugeot that's great for straightaways but not for the constant up and down of J'lem hills. Aryeh told me that I'm a great spinner. Pretty cool. Begins to make me think about doing that Hazon ride sponsored by the Arava Institute next May --- all about the environment and the Arava...hmm.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Budapest Report

Haven't blogged about much lately, let alone our marvelous trip to Budapest - where we saw not only the city but our beloved Erzsi (now I really know how/why to spell her name after having had a crash course in Hungarian - well not really, too inscrutable for that, but you know what I mean). and enjoyed our endless, cold marches around town.

And it was cold, at least for us. As we packed and stood around scratching our heads at the weather reports (30's and 40's by day) we wondered at what combinations to bring along - fleece and shell, various sweaters, down jackets. I scoffed at down jackets - overkill, I said, and suggested fleeces and shells for all. Gotkes? Never even thought of it until sometime during that first day, when my thighs were freezing in my jeans but enough of my thighs. As Natan said, "Gee, after living in Israel, I guess I've lost my perspective on cold weather." Not that it isn't cold in J'lem and in our house which is far colder and draftier than 409 Pacific was but even on cold days, if the sun is out, it just isn't that bad.

Budapest, as I've reported to many, is many things. It's at first glance, grey and gloomy, with large, hulking buildings presiding over the huddled masses but as you walk the city you begin to appreciate the mix of architecture, the grand boulevards (at least they must have been grand at one time), the once imperial notions of splendor in the churches, museum facades and older structures, many of them pockmarked with bullet holes (Hungarian’s history of war and takeovers but many from the Turks to the Germans is never far from mind) mixed in with boxy, bulky communist affairs, that do nothing except remind one of the presence of the Soviets in Hungarian history.

The people seemed reserved and wait on line too politely, as if to remind you that waiting on lines is something they’ve done before and for many years. The young people looked like young people everywhere and the pedestrian mall, Uta Utca, is filled with stores familiar on the continent and beyond – Zara, Mango, H&M and something called New Yorker that from my elevated perch didn’t look so New Yorkish in it’s style but was clearly selling its own version of street style. As a matter of fact, the difference between the young and the older seemed marked, as if the younger crowd, born at the end of the Soviet era, or indeed, after, had grown up during a different time. They had of course. Erzsi said that life under Soviet rule wasn’t as harsh in Hugary as in other places. She said that they had enough food, if limited but that she, growing up in a more rural setting, had the advantage of a good kitchen garden which provided well for the family. She said that when she would travel as a teen and young adult into Russian areas – where one was allowed to travel – that young Russians wanted to buy their clothing and jeans, although they didn’t have anything special but it was much more than what was available in Russian.

Budapest, is 2 cities of course, Buda and Pest, united sometime ago, along with some of the surrounding area (Obuda, I think, but can't remember what else). Buda, is the old city, complete with low-rise buildings with an old style air (indeed may of them are quite old), a castle and an old church built and rebuilt on it's original medieval foundations many times over the centuries. We walked over the Sveczni Hind (bridge) to get there, and then up the Funicular, a funky little cable car (Akiva was quite pleased) to ge to the top of Castle Hill and then spent some time exploring, in the light rain unfortunately, the church and some of the old, cobblestoned streets, finding where the shul had been (there's always a place where the shul had been), finishing up our walking with an overpriced but pleasant lunch, where we ordered cold salads didn't have anything objectionable (there wasn't much), which thankfully left room for dessert - a specialty from Erzsi's childhood, which was a pile of soft chestnut puree with mounds of billowing whipped cream - and ice cream for Akiva.

That was they day that we traveled to what felt like Queens for a good piece of strudel. The first day, we had checked out the local indoor market to do our food shopping and came home reasonably happy - nice produce if limited, some decent strudel (especially the dill and cheese) and lovely mushrooms for a soup which we enjoyed for a few days. (We were staying in a great apartment that we found online - John Farrago, lives on the UESide, of Hungarian descent, discovered his love for Budapest some years ago with his wife and bought a set of apartments (they all adjoin each other and can be used individually or shared as needed for the group) which they redid with all the necessary travel comforts - from espresso maker to w/d, to ipod docks, cellphones at the ready for travelers to fill, to comfy mattresss with fluffy comforters and most importantly, good, feather pillows. Anyway, John had recommended an outlying area for truly, excellent strudel and we felt that we were deserving. As well, the public transport system is vast and varied - from subways to trams to busses to electric busses to commuter trains - so it seemed and excellent opportunity to avail ourselves of them.

The question was, how? Thankfully, we still had Erzsi with us but even she wasn’t sure. In short, one buys a booklet of tickets (most people seem to have unlimited passes), then passes the tickets through this machine that eats them in some partial way (no hanging chads), then one walks through until confronted by various, officious looking types who demand to examine your tickets. This, while holding an eager and excited Akiva back, who sees and hears the sounds of subway trains, and who is making noises that while scary to others merely indicate his overwhelming excitement and inability to find the necessary words at that moment. The ticket examiners seemed to be leftovers from the Soviet era, an example of everyone must work and have a job, even unnecessary ones. Other such examples, people ‘khopping and klopping’ wherever we went, old and young, digging up bits of sidewalk that seemed perfectly fine or manning seemingly innocuous entrances to places, just so that they could stop you and ask you questions in Hungarian. We made our way first onto a street tram – very nice, new train cars, longest in Europe at 53 meters – then, a subway train (we took old and new cars, even one train with narrow cars dating from the Soviet period) that reminded me of train cars from the IRT line in the 70’s in NYC and along with much map study and walking, arrived at our destination – a hole in the ground, nearby to some large, industrial looking furniture stores, in a grey and unattractive residential area north of Pest. The strudel store, for all of its size, had an impressive variety of flavors and we put in our order for 2-3 of every flavor and waited while they packed us up. We watched the strudel man rolling strudel, the dough stretched out over a kitchen table to infinitesmial thinness, then filled and rolled up and somehow, transferred to the oven without any mishaps. The strudel was truly impressive – thin dough, light and crisp although not terribly flavorful it had the right texture and feel, sort of the presenter to the fillings, fruity or cheesy or with nuts or some combinations thereof. We made our way back home with our aromatic loot, walking through the streets from Deak Ter, down past Vorszmarty Ter, to Szervita Ter (Ter is square and everything is a square, populated with the shadowy reminder of goosestepping soldiers, often with it’s own statue of sort or some sort of monument to some long forgotten figure or imperial time), to our apartment.

We checked out the flea markets – supposedly, Budapest is the repository of the detritus of the Soviet era – and the one market that Natan, Ira and I visitied (Gabe and Akiva stayed home) really gave you a sense of the marketable and the simply curious. Flotsam and jetsam from the insides of cellphones, bric a brac that could only be considered ugly and not really for resale, old clothes (vintage would not be a reliable term), LP’s of unknown singers, toys – many of them broken and some that looked like they’d been saved from some fast food restaurant kid meal, etc. The sellers themselves were curious – many of them without the normal array of teeth, and there were Gypsy’s as well among the mix and others from places unknown. It was unclear if anyone makes a living at the flea markets but there was a bonhomie typical of such places, people greeting each other, drinking coffee, admiring each others wares.

From there, we went back to the market, for ingredients for our mushroom goulazs for Shabbat dinner. We had heard that the back of the market was home to wild mushrooms, direct from the forest, presided over by the mushroom inspector who makes sure nobody will keel over from eating them. We investigated and found a table with a variety of choices, dark, wrinkly and mysterious looking. We asked for a price – our seller wrote it down on paper – we countered with our own offer (this is recommended when buying mushrooms), she counteroffered and we settled. Mushrooms in hand, we investigated the veggies, finding the ‘bio’ or organic stall, and bought some. Natan said, “let’s see what crone #2 has,” and we did, and she wasn’t such a crone but a sturdy, peasant looking woman of indeterminate years, selling honey and other things related to bees. We bought some honey, in addition to the aforementioned paprikas – regular and hot. We bought yogurt – pointing to the picture of the sheep and a sort of fresh cheese curds, flavored with paprikas (everything has paprikas it seems) and we would have bought milk just to feel like the locals, who arrived with their plastic jugs and soda bottles for refills from the milk can but had no receptacle of our own.

We checked out the Jewish part of town, home to one of the largest synagogues in all of Europe, the Dohanyi St Shul. The building, in a Moorish style, is vast and the sanctuary is quite impressive – darkly colorful and historic, the names of the congregants engraved on little plaques in front of their seats. There is a courtyard in the center, which essentially became a graveyard during WWII and there’s a modest but quite moving monument to the community’s families killed by the Nazis – a weeping willow tree in silver metal, every hanging leaf engraved with the name of a family. Too many family names engraved. We tried to go back for Fri night but couldn’t find where to enter but we did find the way in on Saturday morning and found ourselves in their sizeable chapel (it’s too expensive to heat the main sanctuary during the winter). Seating is separate but no mechitza. There’s an organ and choir and cantor singing, dressed in the old style with black robes and fancy cantorial toque. Nobody seems to sing along but then again, the average age was about 70 with a few younger faces, including the Rabbi who seemed to have ants in his pants the whole time and a few others. Ira and I, in particular, enjoyed the pronounciation – heavy on the ‘Galitzianer’ style, tough on my Ashkenazi ears but a balm to Ira’s senses, as he grew up with ‘kigel’ and ‘Pirim’ and my favorite, ‘Shiiviyis’ for the holiday of Shavuot. Again, nobody was that friendly to us, basically wishing us Gut Shabbes on their way out. We started chatting with an American couple who was also visiting and discovered during the course of their conversation that their daughter lives in Bklyn – at that point the bells went off. ‘What’s your last name?’ ‘Gutman…’ Elissa Gutman, who Jessica used to share an office with in J’lem when they both worked for the Forward and now writes for the NYTimes and goes to Kane Street (not a regular goer) and for those with long memories, is cousin to Hugh who used to run Boerum Hill Food Company, long before Restaurant Saul bought it! It’s a small world. Fortified by that bit of Jewish geography, we shared email addresses and went home for lunch.

We returned to Israel with a sense of satisfaction. Europe is close and within reach (I write this from the Brno, as a matter of fact, in the Czech Republic where I am for a long weekend with Jessica who had a last minute business opportunity and is here writing a story). Flights are not outrageously expensive and at least in Eastern Europe which is not fully ‘Euro’ized’ your dollar goes further (since of course the dollar goes nowhere lately) and you get a real taste of history along with the dumplings, strudel and some very good cups of coffee.

Akiva, for his part, got to go on a plane and that was just fine with him. And he got to revisit all of his favorite traditions with Erzsi – the books they enjoyed reading together, the songs they loved to sing in Hungarian, the hugs and kisses that they shared and the fun that they always had together. Lucky Akiva and lucky us.







Wednesday, November 28, 2007

My Mother the Assassin

Today, I drove my parents from J'lem to Hofit - which is a small, sleepy village between Netanya and Hedera. I've mentioned Hofit before, I think, as Michael (sister Sarah's husband) hails from there and I used to love to visit there - it's a beach village, which when I first found it, abutted K'far Vitkin, one of the oldest moshavim in the country and we'd spend our time visiting the cows that Michael knew, the avocado trees that he'd planted and then, swim at the beach. Now, it's a bit more upscale. That is, mixed in with the old styled bungalow houses are newer, swankier, Israel styled McMansions, that look rather silly but echo the worldwide need to have too many bathrooms to keep clean. Michael's mother, Lillian, who will be 90 in April, still lives in the same, simple house that he grew up in. At the time, it was quite spacious by Israeli standards - just to have a house was a big deal, as most people reared families large and small in apartments and very small apartments at that. Lillian and Moshe, first started out on Kibbutz Kfar Blum, but Lillian hated the Kibbutz and wanted to be near the city and live a different life. Again, keep in mind that they moved here in the late 40's and life in those days was one of deprivation and simplicity. As she always says, they were happy and content with what they had and 'everyone was a Zionist.' Meaning, when people came and made Aliya in the 50's there was no going back to the old country. This was where they wanted to make their lives as Jews and this was where they stayed. Lillian adds that she was 'not a Zionist,' but that she just came along with Moshe. While this is true, life here made a believer out of her, although she's the first to recognize the warts in Israeli life today.

The conversation went in many different directions - who would we vote for today if the US elections were being held. As expected, they don't trust Hillary, partially because she 'stood by her man,' and because she's perceived as being 'wishywashy' on things. Guiliani interests my Mother but she maintains that being Mayor of NY does not prepare you for the office of President. Lillian was curious to hear why I detest our present leadership and what I think could be different with a new leader. Then, we talked about current problems here. Lillian informed us that she had just recently written a letter to the editor of the Jerusalem Post to complain about coverage - you should be so good when you're 90, I thought to myself. Her beef? Too much talk about Anapolis and the usual diplomatic shenanigans when we're entering our 40th day or so of the teachers strike. She, along with my mother, detest Olmert (as do many) and feels the the current government is both corrupt and untrustworthy and absolutely cringes when she see Olmert in photo-ops with Abbas.

My mother reminds Lillian that she wanted to shoot Olmert a few months ago during another politcal discussion. She adds, my mother that is, the instigator, that one doesn't get such heavy sentencing in this country, look at Haim Ramon back in office already and in a few years, Katzav will find a way back in too. 'Lillian,' she adds, 'You're an older lady...if you assassinate him they won't put you in jail for a long time.' Lillian agrees with her. My mother says, 'I'll be your accomplice, we can get through security!' We all laugh at the thought of the Granny assassins but I tell them that they're terrible and misbehaving. My father naps in his chair in the lovely, warm sun that is so nice to us cold Jerusalemites, and when he wakes up will tell him the joke.

As we're leaving, Lillian tells my mother that she's on, but 'you get the gun!'

Monday, October 29, 2007

New Blog and other matters

Many things going on lately. Working on our Chanukah camp for kids with special needs and preparing the budget right now as we speak. It's tough as we don't really have any funds yet, other than the funds that we raised for the summer -which were for the summer - and now we need to see if we can make the program more specialized for our kids and train the staff the way we'd like, and of course, that all costs money. Fortunately, I'm working with 2 other people that I really enjoy - Miriam Avraham and Uri Lahav. They both speak the language of the special needs world - Uri from his work with adults and kids and Miriam because she's got a kid with DS (I think I've mentioned her before). We met last night to talk over the program that Ein Yael has presented us and to talk budget and as usual, to dream - to dream over the program that we'd like to build and make happen for our kids and the kids of Jerusalem and beyond. I guess I have to learn how to fundraise in addition to learn how to really make this thing happen. First, we'll work on Chanukah and then decide how to officially become an 'amuta' - charitable organization. We do need a name, though. How about 'Kaytana She'lanu' - Our camp. That is, camp for all of us.

Natan and I have started a new blog, Cooking without a Parachute, which is still under construction. Natan has long wanted to 'have a cooking show together', as he used to say when he was younger and we watched too much of the Food Network. In those days, we'd cook together and pretend to be hosting a show, Natan providing color commentary to whatever we were making, while I chopped and described the dish and its method of preparation. Our idea with the blog is cooking by the seat of your pants. Looking into your refrigerator, pulling out whatever seems interesting and just making something. Even if you consult a cookbook, you let your ingredients and your mood guide you to adjust as necessary. Everyone can do this even though most will so, 'oh no, I need to follow a recipe.' There's nothing wrong with recipes except that they often prevent you from making a dish. You don't have carrots, or are missing mushrooms. Ok, so don't make mushroom soup if you don't have mushrooms but you can still make something else with whatever you do have in stock. As well, most of us have an excellent choice of condiments on our refrigerator doors. Condiments are our friends. From those bits of chutney, aging mustards, mystery sauces that you picked up or were gifted once, and salad dressings, come marinades for tofu, meats and fishes as well as quick toppings for simple grain and veg meals.

We see the blog as a way of engaging the boys in cooking as well, which they already do but which I'd like to see happen more, especially during the week. As a matter of fact, Gabe made dinner last night and you can read about it right now...

Other big news is that we're all going to Budapest to meet up with our beloved, Erszi. You too, can meet us in Europe one day, especially if Ira continues to be the master of frequent flyer miles. He schemed and plotted and now we're all flying frequent flyer. Ok, we're not all flying together but that's another matter. We still have to find a place to stay but we're working at it. If you have any ideas - need a short-term rental for 5 days.

Lastly, The Honey will be sending out a survey next week - if you're a Honey reader, please click and fill it out as we need to know more about our readers so that we can learn how to best serve them...and make money.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

It's Raining

It's raining. Wait, IT'S RAINING. It's raining it's pouring (not exactly but it's coming down for a few minutes with nice, fat splotches of rain)...it's tinkling outside my window as I sit and type these words to you. Now there's lightening and thunder. How exciting.

Meaning, it's raining (have I made that clear) and it's the first rain since last April, I guess, or early May - yes, I think there was a late drizzle in May. The air smells strange - kind of like every bit of dirt of the last many months is sort of being moved about before it gets tamped down by the dampness. We drove home carefully as when it rains here for the first time, people get into car accidents - they've literally forgotten how to drive in slipperly conditions. Crazy, huh?

Now it's a few hours later and it's positively autumnal feeling here - breezes blowing and I can even consider wearing warmer pj's tonight and using an extra blanket.

The first rain is called the 'yoreh' here and it's cause for celebration and I can see why as it's almost unbelievable that it finally rained again.

Natan, who just returned from Poland (more on that at another time) was less impressed, having experienced both rain and cold weather there but for the rest of us, waiting for that first drop of rain, it's just thrilling.

Let's hope for a rainy, rainy season.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Oh No

I've been found. Forget about Ira, I've been found. I should kill Jessica as part of it, is her fault although she claims that she wasn't the only one who thought of me.

Shul jobs are coming to call this fall. What to do?
Job Description: Working with someone else to coordinate hospital visits and 'what do you need' calls to families at Shira Hadasha.
Skills Needed: Hospital experiences (well, we all know I've done my share this year), ability not to get in people's faces (I always have to work on that one), desire to get to know people at Shira Hadasha (well it would be useful).
Who suggested me: Jess said it wasn't her. She said she was at a meeting with a few people with whom I dealt over the summer during Jess's hosptial incarceration. How much you want to bet she tipped her hand.

Ma'yanot
Job Description: 'Kef' Organizer. Within very small community, be involved to create fun activities together, from meals to picnics, to hikes to who knows what?
Skills Needed: People person (umm), good organizer (umm), desire to get involved (mum on this one as still sit on the fence alot of the time), good at planning things (sigh).
Who suggested me: Miriam Avraham, a Ma'yanot friend and mother of Adina, who has DS and has become a friend. She's taking on the role of Y"oR/Yoshev Rosh/Acting Head of the Kehillah/community, with her husband, Yehuda. I'm trying to talk her out of it as I think I'd much more enjoy community outreach and fundraising.

I have this idea of pairing Ma'yanot with an egalitarian community I know...
Great idea...doncha think?

Actually, went to the Ma'yanot meeting last night. Sat around in someone's living room, noshing and laughing and getting down the business of how to better organize ourselves, run ourselves, and perhaps build the community and find a semi-permanent home until the municipality deigns to finalize the plot of land that supposedly awaits us in this general neighborhood. Felt alot better about the community than normal as out of a very small group of members, almost everyone sent a representative, and in some cases, 2. That's cool.

Bathrooms and Baseball

Have I told you about bathrooms in Israel? Meaning, have I told you that you don't have to train your bladder to become camelike in it's capacity to hold for hours? That you don't have to have a working map in your head of your neighborhood, and others as well, and the friendly places that you can pee, or beg to pee or sneak in to pee. As a matter of fact, if you're somewhere in this country, all you have to do is say, 'where's the bathroom?' or even simpler, 'I have to pee' (yes, that's what people say, albeit in Hebrew) and someone will point the way. It may be clean or dirty, may have paper or not, but it will always be available to you, without having to show a small child grabbing between their legs so prove the need, so to speak.

So, imagine my pleasure the other night, after having driven an hour and a half (almost) in late day traffic, with a car full of boys eager to play baseball, to the one regulation baseball field in the country for a game against the K'far Saba team to arrive at Kfar Ha'baptist'im/Baptist Youth Village, one of the main places of play in the IBL and despite the simple setting, slightly rundown look of the buildings, the bathrooms were clean and pleasant to use.

Some info about the Baptist Youth Village (from jewishvirtual library.org, in case you were wondering..."Three Protestant communal agricultural settlements have been established in different parts of Israel in recent years. Kfar Habaptistim, north of Petah Tikvah, was founded in 1955, and besides farming provides conference and summer-camp facilities for the Baptist and other Protestant communities in the country." So, for those who will understand the reference, it's the Koynonia of Israel.

Gas stations have nice bathrooms, coffee places all have nice bathrooms, and even the grocery store bathrooms are passable in this country. Just carry your own toilet paper to be sure!

Note on the game: Gabe's team loss but not after 2 solid innings of hitting (the other team also had 2 rallies) and one heavily disputed call that was worked out - I won't tell you how but the suffice to say, the umpire was allowed to save face and Gabe's coach apologized for losing his cool but as he said, 'I had to, for the guys...it was only fair' or something along those lines. It was a loss but a loss with style and verve and heart. Sister Sarah and Michael showed up with Noam, late in the game, to cheer Gabe as he swung and missed at the plate. That was kind of fun as we were right near their house and they enjoyed being able to pop on by, bringing me a much needed cup of tea, and stay to heckle the players for a while. The field is really beautiful and that made the evening even more enjoyable. Kind of like sitting at a single A game somewhere in the middle of nowhere - before they built stadiums for those games and started charging money. Not that this was anywhere near single A ball but that feeling...if you get what I mean.

Friday, October 05, 2007

HaHa

It's shocking to think of all the things I've done today - woke up at 5:30ish (bathroom), then laid in bed listening for Akiva (5:50), then waited for Akiva to arrive in our bed (6:00), got up and dressed and biked to Ramat Rachel with Ira for 7:00am Spinning class(Gabe laid in bed and supervised Akiva) which was followed by some laps in the pool (me, not Ira), a bit of a shvitz and then back home. Cooked, tidied, read email, etc, and then off for errands locally with Akiva and Ira (after he had worked for a bit), met up with Natan who had babysat for Fayanne for a bit - ate pizza (Akiva and Ira), bought a paper, coffee (Ira and I), surprisingly tart sorbet (me) and then home with a stop for JPost and bread (pickings were slim because it was late), milk and eggs. Shabbat starts in 5 minutes or so.

So, what's the big deal, you ask? The big deal is that while I was doing all of that, you guys were sleeping and now you're getting up for your 2nd day of holidaying and dancing, praying and singing, eating and eating and eating....

It's shocking, really, but I have to say really quite wonderful and it's enough of a reason to live here - especially on the good days.

Gotta to run and light candles.
Shabbat Shalom y'all.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Unstuck in Time

More on Beth getting involved and dealing with 'separation anxiety.' Meaning, adjusting to what I 'left' and what I've 'gotten.'

I've been mulling over my feelings about this matter. What it means to leave a place, what it means to be a newcomer and what it means to trade one set of variable for another. Moving has exposed one truth of life. You give up one thing to get another thing. I gave up my community in Brooklyn for my family here. And I have them - we celebrate birthdays (the wallet is constantly open for gifts), we go on hikes, we plan ski trips (I hope this winter), we talk about family problems, we support each other, we laugh together.

In Bklyn I had one set of constants and they were not perfect but they were mine - the shul drove me crazy (yes, this is true), I missed my family and was lonely, I needed different support systems in my life. There were the good points too, the shul community, the homeschooling community, directing the theater group, friends, neighborhood, subway, Sahadi's (ok, I have the shuk here)...in short my life of 20 years in Bklyn. My new set of circumstances here continue to improve and develop but that doesn't change the fact that that which kept me moored in life, no longer exists for my everyday life. The shul experience most exposes that here - it's different here. You go to shul, it's not your social life, it's the place where you pray. Yes, you have friends, yes, you invite people for lunch but you have friends who daven elsewhere and maybe you too daven elsewhere so it's not pivotal to your life to make it work.

I've decided that the main issue is that I feel 'unmoored' in terms of synagogue matters. I've gotten used to anonymity this year and had felt more connected in to places slowly. We've invited and been invited a bit...but it's hard. I have barely read Torah anywhere - just Mayanot, too uptight to offer myself up at Shira Hadasha yet. Davened once I think at Mayanot the whole year. Have davened at a whole host of places but feel connected to none really, although I smile at people and can survive kiddush although at times it's tough. I prefer to sit on the side with Akiva as he munches on pretzels and chips. (Actually, did very well at kiddush at Shira Hadasha this past Shabbat, which pleased me as Ira and Natan were with me as well.) None of the shuls calls to me as my home. One aside here - it's interesting how many of my Bklyn compatriots are quite put off by davening in an Orthodox shul when they come to visit. Too me, while it's not a perfect solution (men and women sitting separately), it's not a deal breaker, it's just a readjustment to something that I used to know and do (friends while in school, etc and even in JTS in the old days) but haven't done in a long time. Moreover, I know so many cool Orthodox feminists here, who continually think of how important it is to be an Orthodox feminist and to teach their children accordingly, while the Conservative jewish women I meet, are still thinking through what they do or don't do in shul. Look beyond the mechitza - it's just a barrier and it's what they're used to. Don't let it stand in the way of understanding and t'filah/prayer.

Since 1983, I have felt a particular tug to this place. Actually, I started feeling the pull in 1982/3 when I was here for the year after college (forgetting the brainwashing towards Israel and living here that was a major part of my life). Then, Jonathan and Barbara moved and the rest is history. Tug, tug, tug. It was the line from Maurice Sendak's book, 'Where the wild things are,' that really brought me here - "And Max the king of all the wild things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all." That messy, unconditional love of parents and sibs. And even if it meant leaving so many dear to me on the other side of the pond.

So, here I am and I discover that now I have to feel a tug to what I left. I feel the tug to the familiar. To the mundane - brownstones and trees changing colors, the grit of Atlantic Ave (it's fast disappearing), the subway, the tall, tall buildings that block out the sky. To the less mundane - my friends, my reputation (I know it's shallow but it's true), my sense of belonging. Recently, 2 women (only women would say this to another woman) made some comment to me that 'I don't work,' and I thought, only someone who knows me for a very short time would actually say that to me - and then I realized, they only know me for a very short time. They know very little of what has driven me for many years, even if I didn't follow a tradional career trajectory that reads easily on a CV.

What to do about all this? Nothing, I realize. Thing about it, talk about it, but not dwell on it too much. Let this 2nd year here unfold, with whatever surprises good and bad will come our way. Maybe we'll find our moorings and fasten the tent posts to some community and maybe we'll continue in this peripatetic way - the 'wandering Jews,' in our homeland but not at home yet.

Shana Tova

Blogging vacation the past month or so. It's been the calm down from Jess's adventurous summer, the end of the 'big vacation' as they call it here - day trips with the big boys and a few smaller trips with Akiva and the big boys. The final visits of the summer - Penny and Sarah Owen, the Chevan family. Excellent archeology moments with the big boys - Herodian, Beit Guvrin. A very long, but enjoyable walk through the Old City with Penny and Sarah. Meals, scotch, chitchat, enjoyed with the Chevans and both boys had more opportunities to hang with the kids.

As Rosh Hashanah approached, though, I felt concerned about the whole shul issue. Where would we go, which place would satisfy our needs during the holiday period? High Holidays are different than regular Shabbatot. I, for one, as does Ira, have a desire to hear a certain kind of prayer/davening during the high holidays. I want to hear Ashkenazic litergy, I want to yah buh buh in the way that I have for many years. While I wasn't expecting to be back in Bklyn, and I knew that Kane Streeters weren't going to be hearing Ray this year - although having met and heard Boaz, I had a feeling that people would, for the most part, be pleased - but I was looking for something that would at least have a familiar feel.

My parents were coming to Jess's house (Daniel's in Toronto, doing a RH/YK gig). Ok, that meant that we were davening in part at Beit Boyer, sometimes called Beit Boring, an average Orthodox place of prayer. It has the sex appeal of an MK that davens there, Melchior, who also serves a 'Rabbi' of the community. This is a title of honor, but it does mean that he sets a certain tone and often speaks - but his tone is a friendly and open one. Beit Boyer is a friendly place, with a decent amount of Anglos, and we know people locally who daven there. Each day, my parents would be there, with a representative keeping them company. We bought our tickets and wondered what it would be like. Jess and I menu-planned. Boys baked. Akiva sang songs. Ira and I shopped and cooked.

The Friday before RH, we got the call from Mayanot - Conservative Egal. I was asked to read Torah on 2nd day and Ira to daven mincha on Day 1. We hemmed and hawed. Everything that Mayanot does, they do at the last minute. There's a certain beauty to their method as they always pull it off - just at the skin of their teeth. I had already sworn that I would say no to any last minute jobs, but gee, reading Torah 2nd day? Akedah story of Isaac? It's my favorite, literally sends chills down my spine to read it. We accepted. We were curious anyway to see how services would be for us this year, when we weren't as shell shocked as we were last year for the holidays. Setting up chairs on Tuesday night at Mayanot - rubbing the dust off with a damp towel, we wondered if last minute wasn't such a good idea but 'in for a penny, in for a pound.' Besides, the boys like the familiarity of Mayanot and it's very comfortable with Akiva. Anything goes at Mayanot - from the barefoot kids running around with their bags of bamba in tow, to the easy going friendliness of the constituents (a rarity in these parts we've found), to the interesting mix of Americans and Israelis (yes, real live Israelis) who come to daven there.

Shira Hadasha was out, at least for me, for RH. Jessica would get there on Day one though. Truth was, Ira and I had gone there last year and had been underwelmed. While the t'filah was, as always, delivered with meaning and thought, the style of song wasn't Ashkenazi enough for us. It was sort of 'Carlebach goes RH,' and it left us wanting more. Their shofar blower was nothing special, although Jessica assured me that they had someone new this year who was reputed to be quite good.

Natan and I went to Beit Boyer on Day 1. After feeling sort of unsettled for the first 1/2 hour or so - why was I in a shul that I never normally go to and how will I feel comfortable - I settled in and began to enjoy myself. I smiled at a few people (my good friend Karyn and her girls were behind me, and I know some other faces from the neighborhood, etc), chatted briefly with the nice South African lady next to me (she's been here 37 years), and began to enjoy myself. The davening was completely Ashkenazic and familiar. The shofar blower, while not approaching Rena's virtuosity, was good and his shofar had an interestingly mournful tone and his blowing style was quite assured. My mother and I liked the air-conditioning, which was its usual galactic temperature (in the Beit Boyer email, which arrives every Fri, they list what that week's temp will be so that everyone can come 'dressed for their comfort') and we liked the Ba'al Mussaf, who had a certain gravitas suited to the day. Turns out he's a Brit. Melchior gave a good drash, looking over at us ladies, as much as he looked at the guys.

Day 2, I went to Mayanot. Aside from the sound of the bouncing basketballs outside on the court, the tefillot were said with meaning and seriousness. The leadership suffered from a bit of 'atonality' but what can you do? The shofar blowing was marred by a problematic shofar with a small opening. No problem. By the end of the service, a runner had been dispatched to someone's home and returned with a better shofar and the final blasts were delivered with force and enjoyment - no more dying moose to serenade us with. We were hosting 'Nativnicks,' post High School kids here in Israel for the year with a program though the Conservative movement. Natan recognized 2 girls from his choir singing with Hazamir in NYC and happily trotted off to Alan and Lisa's for lunch - Gabe, too, so that they could sing/discuss their way through the repertoire.

So what was the problem? I don't know. Maybe it was too 'loosey goosey' for me. Maybe it was too small a minyan - Mayanot suffers from the Kane St problem of nobody around until Torah reading (shacharit is really the 'added service' not mussaf in the Conservative movement). Mayanot has plugged away at being a viable source of egalitarian Judaism for years and yet, they remain, unsung, without a permanent home, forever the forgotten minyan in the area. Sometimes, I think they like it that way - they like it smaller and more modest and with a definite emphasis on involvement within, otherwise they wouldn't be able to make it happen week after week. I feel that they deserve better, should want better, should demand better, from themselves, the movement, the local kehillah/community in general.

I hear you - get involved, Beth, you can do it, you can change things, shake things up a bit, etc. Somehow, I just can't yet. It seems scary and strange and I'm just not ready to expose myself like that yet. I would like to work to the development of the Cons egal community here - raise money, get us a perm home, etc. Ok, that's involvement but it's for a cause and a good one at that. More on this for my next post.

In short, Shana Tova to all of you. A year of health, fun, visits to Israel (if you can) or meeting in Europe (haven't explored this possib enough yet but am trying to work out a meet in Budapest idea with Erszi), and in general, life in all of it's complications.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Aack - One Year Today

Yes, folks, it's the day. 1 year in the Land of Israel. The land of absurd politics, sleazy politicians who can't keep their pants zipped and their mouths closed, the land of religious extremism and religious non'ism, the land of bureacracy and rubber stamps and the land of too many Jews. It is definitely the land of the tailgate driver and the stupid driver, as well as the land of painful banking experiences and too many papers to sign.

Thankfully, it is also the land of excellent humous, fresh and squishy pita and tasty cucumbers and tomatoes. It is also the land of blue skies and sunny days, where the wind blows to freshen things up most evening (at least where we leave) and where a trip to the pool can be combined with a historical tour of the bunkers from 1948 and an ongoing archeological dig of stuff from 2000 years ago. It is a land where the sky extends out big and open in front of you (Natan feels it's too open, he prefers skyscrapers) and where at night you can see actual stars twinkle along with the lights of civilization.

It's a complicated place yet our lives feel somewhat less complicated. At least we've left our junk mail behind, not a bad thing. We've traded the business of 20 years in Bklyn - friends, shul, homeschooling community, theater group - for family matters. Both a blessing - birthday parties shared, holidays cooking together, trips to do errands big and small with Jess and other sibs - and complicating - my father's illness and aging, Sarah's surgery, Jess's adventures of the last 2 months. I still not used to my family's expectations that I should talk to them all the time. I'm surprised by this and yet, delighted to have it, for myself, as well as the kids and Ira. We miss the stuff and life of Bklyn and most of the week it seems okay, until Shabbat that is. We've met good people and as usual, Akiva has brought special people into our lives, like Melina, who told me today that I'm like an Aunt to her. I was glad to hear that and she is protective of Akiva as if he were her own. Doesn't make it easier to have left Erszi but it's good that we've met good friends for Akiva, or are working on it, here.\

Today, Ira and I and the big boys went to Beit Guvrin, a fabulous constellation of underground caves, dwelling places, cisterns, olive oil presses, pigeon guest homes, etc, hewn out of the local limestone of the area. We walked around marvelling at the the great condition of the antiquities and the 'oldness' of the place, the history, the sheer wonder of having your history laid out right at your feet.

We drove home, everyone tired, hot, dusty and sweaty. Ira went to work upstairs, boys to their corners, me to the computer. Akiva came home from the pool with Melina and I went off to my new discovery, Spinning class. Came home and the big boys were cooking for Shabbat. Penny and Sara Owen arrive tomorow. I joined in. Life is good.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Hurdles

Big hurdle forded yesterday. Ira and I successfully passed our driving tests. You may wonder? You had to take a driving test? Well, according to local lore, after the 'Russians came,' this to be compared with my Mother's line of after the 'Hungarians came,' (explain: post-world war II, the Hungarians who had survived in greater numbers, even though Hitler did his best to kill off as many as he could despite the fact that it was '44, arrived in NYC, they brought with them their more uptight version of kashrut and observance and according to my mother and grandmother z"l, that's when heckhshered cheese first showed up - in the '50's perhaps. Ask Danny Magill for more information.)

Anyway, when the Russians came enmasse, it became apparant that driving laws/testing was even more problematic there than here where driving is quite the sport - people are killed more on the roads than in wars - and they tightened the rules so that every new immigrant has to at least take a lesson and a test in order to be licensed. Use to be, you just brought your American license down and got switched. My parents were the last to be able to do that. In typical Israeli fashion, you have to go for a very intense eye test (no standing and reading the letters at the DMV) and then, of course, to the doctor (such a bore), and then, down to the DMV type of office for your forms to be stamped and such many times and they make note of where your license came from, etc...then, you get to take your lesson and test.

We had been given the name of this guy, David, who is clearly making a killing helping nervous immigrants go through this process. He picks up your papers, gets them to the appropriate offices and then, calls you to schedule your lesson/test, drives you back and forth to the testing area and generally, holds your hand (he patted my head but at least he's over 70) and tells you it will all be fine - this for 400nis or about $100, which is alot of money considering that a regular lesson is about nis100. But we went with it because of all the horror stories - like Alan Salzberg failing the first time. Also, we had waited until the umpteenth moment to do this. You have 3 years to do the test but if you don't pass by the end of the first year, you can't drive until you pass. Some disagree with this, some say you'll just get ticketed if you get caught but there it is.

It was Tisha ba'av/fast day for commemorating the destruction of the 2nd Temple a loooong time ago (you know Jews and their long memories). Light traffic. Auspicious day. I had my lesson at 7:50 with Bob Carroll (went to Brandeis, knows Simcha boy back when he was Fred), and it should be added that Ira and I were making our lives marginally more difficult by doing the test in stick. We both drive stick and in this country, typically, you have to pass the test for stick in order to drive both types. If you pass just automatic then you can't drive a stick. Rediculous I know. Actually, maybe it's not so rediuclous but it's amazing to think that they're so stringent but nobody drives well anyway. One theory we have is that they make you drive so slowly and carefully, that nobody is ever trained to deal with normal road conditions. Also, I think that they are patriarchal to the women and make them nervous so many of the bad driving one sees is by women and then men drive as if they own the road and EVERYONE tailgates which is a major cause of accidents.

We each had our lessons. I, of course, had to go inside btw lessons bec of babysitter handoff since Akiva wasn't in school yesterday, and have my stomach be so upset and nervous that I ate a cracker and drank water (so much for fasting but I'm not a great TB faster to begin with) before I went back into the car for the rest of Ira's lesson (of course the teacher said nothing to Ira about anything - at least not the way he lectured me about road rules and of course, Ira was cool as a cucumber).

The tester entered the car. Nice guy. Ira started and drove, and I kid you not, maybe 4 minutes before being asked to pull over to the right (I thought he had done something wrong but nooo....) and then, I went (I told Bob, our new bff, that I had to go next or die of nervousness) and I drive for perhaps 3 minutes, and finally, Bob, who took us back the driving test offices. And that was it. We passed. For this I had to eat my kishkes out? And what a scam really. Thank goodness I'm not like my niece Elisheva, who's failed 4x and has put so much money into her lessons that it's just absurd. She can drive but they keep failing her on odd technicalities and just to keep getting the money - you have to take 28 lessons just to take the test the first time if you're a new driver and then each time you fail, you have to take a few more and then if you fail a certain amount of times you're really screwed. Natan says he'll never do it.

On to the next adventure.
Natan has arrived back in country. Oh happy day.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Tis the Season

Quick trip to the 'yarkan'/veg and fruit guy on Friday. I should preface this that when we don't go to the shuk or to 'supersol deal' we do one of 2 things. We now order organic deliveries once a week - very nice but very small selection of fresh and dry goods. On Friday though, we stop in at the 'yarkan,' for salad makings, fruit, you know, shabbat stuff. Of course, the last week or two, I've been over buying as no Natan, and now no Gabe - got to learn how to downscale. Thank goodness Natan returns on Wed.

Our neighbor across the hall, actually is the proprietor with is brother, I believe, of the yarkan on Derekh Beit Lehem on the corner of Esther Ha'malka, but we really prefer to go to the yarkan across the street from him - also on DBL as well. He's a nice guy and it's a nice store and he always discounts me if he's there BUT they all smoke in the store, they wrap their veggies with saran in pkgs, which let's be honest is no way to buy your produce. They do have good arugula - almost always - and some nice homemade salads. The guy across the way, has more interesting berries and this week, pant, gasp, faint...LIMES.

I have waited a whole year for this moment. On Friday, as I browsed thinking of what else to buy to make sure that we wouldn't have to shop for a few days as life has been too busy (but that's another story), I saw a 'havila'/basket of green, round objects. I've been fooled by these before. They could be green lemons. I looked and sniffed - then, I asked...'ha'eem zeh limon...' I trailed off expected the answer, 'ken, limon,' and she looked and smiled and said, 'limes.' This was funny as it was immediately apparant that there's no real plural for limes in hebrew. Fine with me. I bought a whole basket and began considering my options - margaritas? mojitos? salsa? lime bars? I called Lisa Smith immediately and bought her 6, just as a taste. I came home and cut into the lime and it was a lime - I rubbed my nose in the lime, inhaled the smell and squeezed it on salad and in yogurt and on fruit but haven't done any drinking yet. Working up to it. Gili, the owner, said to expect them to be around for a while but I wasn't taking any chances and the cashier, his sister, approved. She said, people come in and say 'limes!' and then buy 3. What can you do with 3 she asked?' I agreed.

Let the party begin.